Plenty of fish in the sea
Plenty of trees in the forests
Plenty of cows
Plenty of pigs
Plenty of chickens
plenty of animals to go around
Of course they're gonna last
when their dying to fill my plate
of course the trees are gonna last
when we keep chopping them down
The Earth will keep turning
while we choose to keep burning
fuels that cause pollution
what makes you think there's another solution?
I don't have to care
what happens to the bears
I'll be happy on my three piece leather sofa
watching my ninety inch plasma television
after all
there's plenty of fish in the sea
Tuesday, 28 December 2010
Saturday, 18 December 2010
Some published work this week!
Friday, 10 December 2010
In the Sky
He hid his face amid a crowd of stars
and placed his feet just behind the planet mars
he wished not to see
didn't want to know what was down below
the sky was his refuge
a shelter from the Earth's corruption
here in the solar system there's no disruption
just purity and beauty
no need to escape
just sit and dream
and watch the night float by
first line from the beautiful poem When you are Old by W.B Yeats
and placed his feet just behind the planet mars
he wished not to see
didn't want to know what was down below
the sky was his refuge
a shelter from the Earth's corruption
here in the solar system there's no disruption
just purity and beauty
no need to escape
just sit and dream
and watch the night float by
first line from the beautiful poem When you are Old by W.B Yeats
Tuesday, 7 December 2010
Magnetic Poetry Part 2
Don't say that now
you and I lie awake
while she's there
if this has to be the way
I don't wanna see the light
we're phoney
there is nothing in the night
take down your crossfire
it was a long way off
it got out of hand
guess I must just live now
and there's a hurricane of bleakness
baby you got worse
a deaf kiss plays us out
you and I lie awake
while she's there
if this has to be the way
I don't wanna see the light
we're phoney
there is nothing in the night
take down your crossfire
it was a long way off
it got out of hand
guess I must just live now
and there's a hurricane of bleakness
baby you got worse
a deaf kiss plays us out
Monday, 29 November 2010
I finally won NaNoWriMo!
Further to my last blog post, I have now finished my novel for national novel writing month! And after six years of trying, I have finally managed to reach 50,000 words after a lot of hard work, dirty tricks etc to get that word count up! I'm pleased with myself that I finally managed to complete it.
Anyway I know quite a few people have said to me that they want to read it or that I should put it online. Well I'm not going to publish it online (at least not yet).
What I want is to get three volunteer readers to read this first draft- but don't get excited just yet- this means reading the novel without any editing, so with possible spelling mistakes, errors, and all the dirty tricks I used to boost the word count- like not using any contractions and turning words like whatever into two words- what ever.
I want those people to give me honest positive and negative feedback about what they liked and didn't like about the story so that in January (in theory) I can start editing it and improving it, and I'll keep improving it until I think it's good enough, and then I'm hoping to attempt to get it published- but it needs a lot of work first!
so the first three people to comment on this blog, or respond when I put this link on twitter and facebook, can be the volunteer readers and help me make this labour of love into something publishable!
Anyway I know quite a few people have said to me that they want to read it or that I should put it online. Well I'm not going to publish it online (at least not yet).
What I want is to get three volunteer readers to read this first draft- but don't get excited just yet- this means reading the novel without any editing, so with possible spelling mistakes, errors, and all the dirty tricks I used to boost the word count- like not using any contractions and turning words like whatever into two words- what ever.
I want those people to give me honest positive and negative feedback about what they liked and didn't like about the story so that in January (in theory) I can start editing it and improving it, and I'll keep improving it until I think it's good enough, and then I'm hoping to attempt to get it published- but it needs a lot of work first!
so the first three people to comment on this blog, or respond when I put this link on twitter and facebook, can be the volunteer readers and help me make this labour of love into something publishable!
Thursday, 11 November 2010
November!
Hello readers,
Sorry I haven't been updating too much recently, this month I am taking part in NaNoWriMo! it's actually my sixth year in a row, but I've never managed to get anywhere near the 50,000 words. This year I have been doing really well with my word count despite not knowing what my plot was going to be, and I'm still not exactly sure. I thought it was a sci fi novel to begin with but now it seems it's actually a fantasy novel, and is getting more and more complicated and ridiculous by the minute! I am finding listening to shouty riot grrrl music very helpful to my creativity as well as following @NaNoWordSprints very helpful.
the funny thing is that since I've started this year, I have started to feel inspired to write other things too (and inspired to actually do some other things too) but I have to focus on this for now!
I'm off to write my novel!
Sorry I haven't been updating too much recently, this month I am taking part in NaNoWriMo! it's actually my sixth year in a row, but I've never managed to get anywhere near the 50,000 words. This year I have been doing really well with my word count despite not knowing what my plot was going to be, and I'm still not exactly sure. I thought it was a sci fi novel to begin with but now it seems it's actually a fantasy novel, and is getting more and more complicated and ridiculous by the minute! I am finding listening to shouty riot grrrl music very helpful to my creativity as well as following @NaNoWordSprints very helpful.
the funny thing is that since I've started this year, I have started to feel inspired to write other things too (and inspired to actually do some other things too) but I have to focus on this for now!
I'm off to write my novel!
Thursday, 28 October 2010
Black Dog
Alarmed bleakness
calling in a blind light
don't want to feel this way
but I don't get a say
it hovers over me like a dark cloud
likely to burst at any moment
(and often it does)
it hurts deep down inside
and times like these I just want to hide
it's like some part of me has died
when I get like this
it's hard to find the switch
I know what I'm feeling isn't necessarily true
and I don't really have to feel blue
but I lose all control
and everything around me comes to a halt
I should by now, take these thoughts with a grain of salt
there is always hope
if I can't feel well today
maybe tomorrow
I might feel okay
27/10/10
calling in a blind light
don't want to feel this way
but I don't get a say
it hovers over me like a dark cloud
likely to burst at any moment
(and often it does)
it hurts deep down inside
and times like these I just want to hide
it's like some part of me has died
when I get like this
it's hard to find the switch
I know what I'm feeling isn't necessarily true
and I don't really have to feel blue
but I lose all control
and everything around me comes to a halt
I should by now, take these thoughts with a grain of salt
there is always hope
if I can't feel well today
maybe tomorrow
I might feel okay
27/10/10
Friday, 22 October 2010
Magnetic Poetry fun and randomness
I love magnetic poetry, everytime I go anywhere near any I have to play with it, so I was most pleased when we got some free with Classic Rock last week. Here is what we made with it, some really random and silly, and some I thought were pretty good!
Don't wanna be hollywood dumb
you're nothing til it's been said
anybody could be a little worse
now live some kind of today
if you're sure who you are
here down the back
we're bitten
(written between me and migs)
I woke in a crossfire blind
calling myself a london neverland
born from up there
it gets away
dust
(by Migs)
lots of random lines:
I said plays don't bustle
I enter the alarmed jungle, suppose bleakness that's phoney!
Welcome to silhouetto megadon
my pinball hurricane of beatlemania
never light a muffin
this morning the beer got a mighty hello
must I see 42 in every question
a liverpool wild eyed joker is awake there
Don't wanna be hollywood dumb
you're nothing til it's been said
anybody could be a little worse
now live some kind of today
if you're sure who you are
here down the back
we're bitten
(written between me and migs)
I woke in a crossfire blind
calling myself a london neverland
born from up there
it gets away
dust
(by Migs)
lots of random lines:
I said plays don't bustle
I enter the alarmed jungle, suppose bleakness that's phoney!
Welcome to silhouetto megadon
my pinball hurricane of beatlemania
never light a muffin
this morning the beer got a mighty hello
must I see 42 in every question
a liverpool wild eyed joker is awake there
Friday, 27 August 2010
Going to the Circus
I choose to ignore
the pain and the suffering
I choose to ignore
the evidence shown right in front of me
I choose to ignore
the abuse and exploitation
It's not my child
It's not my pet
they're not human
why should I care?
How can they feel pain?
Why should I care if it's not their normal behaviour?
As long as I can get my fill of entertainment
Never mind it's old fashioned
and there's so much better things I could do
including animal free circuses with no harm involved
never mind over 90% of the population want to see a ban
never mind most councils won't allow it on their land
I am the voice of the ignorant
I am the voice of those who refuse to care
I know I'm wrong
so I won't look
at the people standing silently holding their banners
when I get offered a leaflet
I'll drive so fast inside
I'll cause damage to my car
they choose to ignore
they choose not to care
they refuse to open their eyes
but we must continue
to be patient and educate
one day they will listen
and maybe join us too
29/8/10
the pain and the suffering
I choose to ignore
the evidence shown right in front of me
I choose to ignore
the abuse and exploitation
It's not my child
It's not my pet
they're not human
why should I care?
How can they feel pain?
Why should I care if it's not their normal behaviour?
As long as I can get my fill of entertainment
Never mind it's old fashioned
and there's so much better things I could do
including animal free circuses with no harm involved
never mind over 90% of the population want to see a ban
never mind most councils won't allow it on their land
I am the voice of the ignorant
I am the voice of those who refuse to care
I know I'm wrong
so I won't look
at the people standing silently holding their banners
when I get offered a leaflet
I'll drive so fast inside
I'll cause damage to my car
they choose to ignore
they choose not to care
they refuse to open their eyes
but we must continue
to be patient and educate
one day they will listen
and maybe join us too
29/8/10
Saturday, 14 August 2010
Ode to Books I've Loved (and sometimes lost)
I can't remember a day when I didn't love reading a good book
There's nothing like curling up and turning the pages
of an epic thriller or an indulgent fantasy
imagining the scenes in your head
painting the colours in your mind
going to the library can be such a thrill
so many words lurk behind those covers
ready and waiting for my hungry consumption
books can go anywhere
no need for a plug socket
no no need for double a's
reading takes you on a journey
and you don't even have to move
you can continue the journey whenever you like
there's no rush to finish
although some books just can't seem to leave my hands
until they've come to a conclusion
favourite books are like old friends
always there for you
with their tattered pages
and worn out corners
some will make you smile
some will make you laugh
others may even make you cry
I want to thank you, books
for activating my imagination
inspiring my writing passion
filling in voids of boredom
spawning intense conversations
if you don't really read
might I suggest
you pick up a book
you never know, you may just plant a seed
14/8/10
There's nothing like curling up and turning the pages
of an epic thriller or an indulgent fantasy
imagining the scenes in your head
painting the colours in your mind
going to the library can be such a thrill
so many words lurk behind those covers
ready and waiting for my hungry consumption
books can go anywhere
no need for a plug socket
no no need for double a's
reading takes you on a journey
and you don't even have to move
you can continue the journey whenever you like
there's no rush to finish
although some books just can't seem to leave my hands
until they've come to a conclusion
favourite books are like old friends
always there for you
with their tattered pages
and worn out corners
some will make you smile
some will make you laugh
others may even make you cry
I want to thank you, books
for activating my imagination
inspiring my writing passion
filling in voids of boredom
spawning intense conversations
if you don't really read
might I suggest
you pick up a book
you never know, you may just plant a seed
14/8/10
Tuesday, 27 July 2010
I am Woman, Hear Me Roar
I am woman, hear me roar
don't you call me a bore
I have an ukulele and a pen
and I'm not afraid to use them!
I'll play my music real loud
and carry my banner real proud
I'm an activist, a feminist
and yes, I'm also married (to a man) and work in a chemist
I am woman, hear me roar
I say make love, not war
I read a lot of books
I'm not too bothered about looks
My name is Hayley
I get to sign my autograph daily!
I am woman, hear me roar
don't stare too hard, you'll make your eyes sore
I am woman, hear me roar
rock music and my friends, I adore
I am woman, hear me roar
turn the page, and I'll tell you some more...
don't you call me a bore
I have an ukulele and a pen
and I'm not afraid to use them!
I'll play my music real loud
and carry my banner real proud
I'm an activist, a feminist
and yes, I'm also married (to a man) and work in a chemist
I am woman, hear me roar
I say make love, not war
I read a lot of books
I'm not too bothered about looks
My name is Hayley
I get to sign my autograph daily!
I am woman, hear me roar
don't stare too hard, you'll make your eyes sore
I am woman, hear me roar
rock music and my friends, I adore
I am woman, hear me roar
turn the page, and I'll tell you some more...
Thursday, 22 July 2010
When I am Drunk
the first time I got drunk was on Tia Maria
seemed like a good idea
tasted so good, just kept drinking more
one drink turned into four
funny how it's still my favourite drink
I've had rum, southern comfort, tequila, why even absinthe
well Vodka, we have a love/hate relationship
it has been known to make me lose my grip
shots always go down well
even if the next day my head feels like hell
when I am drunk
I've been known to shout at kebab shops
if I'm not in the queue for 2AM chips
using tomato sauce and mayonnaise as dips
when I am drunk
I've been known to hug people and say "I love you"
but you know it's no lie, you know it's true
alcohol is like truth serum
a few drops and I'll tell you the lot
when I am drunk
I tend to laugh
when I am drunk
you've been known to hold me up
when I am drunk
I struggle with the door lock
when I am drunk
I sing loudly to rock
when I am drunk
I crash on the bed
wondering what's up with the spinning in my head
the next thing I know I'm feeling rather dead
the next morning I will dread
but for now
I'll make a fake vow
not to drink again
at least not till next weekend
22nd July 2010
seemed like a good idea
tasted so good, just kept drinking more
one drink turned into four
funny how it's still my favourite drink
I've had rum, southern comfort, tequila, why even absinthe
well Vodka, we have a love/hate relationship
it has been known to make me lose my grip
shots always go down well
even if the next day my head feels like hell
when I am drunk
I've been known to shout at kebab shops
if I'm not in the queue for 2AM chips
using tomato sauce and mayonnaise as dips
when I am drunk
I've been known to hug people and say "I love you"
but you know it's no lie, you know it's true
alcohol is like truth serum
a few drops and I'll tell you the lot
when I am drunk
I tend to laugh
when I am drunk
you've been known to hold me up
when I am drunk
I struggle with the door lock
when I am drunk
I sing loudly to rock
when I am drunk
I crash on the bed
wondering what's up with the spinning in my head
the next thing I know I'm feeling rather dead
the next morning I will dread
but for now
I'll make a fake vow
not to drink again
at least not till next weekend
22nd July 2010
Monday, 19 July 2010
Social Networking
Twitter, My Space, You Tube, Facebook
all the world can take a look
at what you post
intimacy and privacy sometimes gets lost
see photos of me as a child
see photos of me when I get a bit too wild
sometimes it can get you in trouble
you're so engrossed in your internet bubble
you forgot what you posted
when you got drunk, you boasted
no longer do we use the phone
we use our "status" to indirectly moan
no more face to face
instead we choose to "follow"
how did we become so hollow?
social networking, is it to blame
for lack of communication?
or has it widened our fascination?
it's hard to remember a time
without the internet
information is so easy to get
it doesn't make it wrong
but we should keep our real friendships strong
and never forget the power of speech
or what it's like to sit on the beach
on a sunny day
the power of reality
is what controls our destiny
life isn't controlled by letters on a screen
or some you tube video you might have seen
you are the driver
so take the wheel and drive
17/7/10
all the world can take a look
at what you post
intimacy and privacy sometimes gets lost
see photos of me as a child
see photos of me when I get a bit too wild
sometimes it can get you in trouble
you're so engrossed in your internet bubble
you forgot what you posted
when you got drunk, you boasted
no longer do we use the phone
we use our "status" to indirectly moan
no more face to face
instead we choose to "follow"
how did we become so hollow?
social networking, is it to blame
for lack of communication?
or has it widened our fascination?
it's hard to remember a time
without the internet
information is so easy to get
it doesn't make it wrong
but we should keep our real friendships strong
and never forget the power of speech
or what it's like to sit on the beach
on a sunny day
the power of reality
is what controls our destiny
life isn't controlled by letters on a screen
or some you tube video you might have seen
you are the driver
so take the wheel and drive
17/7/10
The River of Acceptance
your warmth is shown behind every smile
every smile leaves an imprint on my heart
and my hearts feels wide open
whenever you are within reach
even out of reach
your soul calls out my name
almost like home
we connect but our individuality remains
you can be yourself and I couldn't have it any other way
you lighten the load but deepen the rivers
the rivers ripple with your every word
thoughts and feelings so consumed
I am lost in this river of you
and this time
I don't want to be found
2006
every smile leaves an imprint on my heart
and my hearts feels wide open
whenever you are within reach
even out of reach
your soul calls out my name
almost like home
we connect but our individuality remains
you can be yourself and I couldn't have it any other way
you lighten the load but deepen the rivers
the rivers ripple with your every word
thoughts and feelings so consumed
I am lost in this river of you
and this time
I don't want to be found
2006
Untitled
spark the ignition, start her up
let her slide, let the feet move along
take the pill
take the time
can you feel what's inside?
candy hearts and liquid dreams aren't always what they seem
could you be the key that fits into the lock?
could I be the handle you just can't turn?
is it that hard to be free?
is it true how easily you glide
through the evidence
of what was once had been
time and time again
take your time
feel your mind
let me be your guide
11/1/06
let her slide, let the feet move along
take the pill
take the time
can you feel what's inside?
candy hearts and liquid dreams aren't always what they seem
could you be the key that fits into the lock?
could I be the handle you just can't turn?
is it that hard to be free?
is it true how easily you glide
through the evidence
of what was once had been
time and time again
take your time
feel your mind
let me be your guide
11/1/06
Sunday, 18 July 2010
All written on 29.1.06
Words
Words can fly
words can zoom
just like an ultrasonic boom
words surround me
they pour down like a soft waterfall of ideas
so many beautiful words
it's hard to know where to start
and even harder to finish
but I love it with my heart and soul
writing is the only key I need
to unlock the door of creativity
and fill the voids of reality
The Psychedelic Radar
the psychedelic radar is in my head
transcending messages sent from outer space
transmitting thought patterns
to expand the outer limits of my mind
vivid colours and patterns
feels like a painting on my soul
so divine, I feel fine
it brings me love, it takes me through
a dimension I've never noticed before
and I never want it to end
Untitled
I am a door, unopened yet unlocked
I am the floor, often walked over
I am a wall, enclosing the outside world
I am a ceiling, stopping you from reaching the stars
I am a window, proving there's more to life than the room you're in
there's millions of rooms
and millions of houses
all across the world
but nothing will soothe your soul like the outdoors will
Words can fly
words can zoom
just like an ultrasonic boom
words surround me
they pour down like a soft waterfall of ideas
so many beautiful words
it's hard to know where to start
and even harder to finish
but I love it with my heart and soul
writing is the only key I need
to unlock the door of creativity
and fill the voids of reality
The Psychedelic Radar
the psychedelic radar is in my head
transcending messages sent from outer space
transmitting thought patterns
to expand the outer limits of my mind
vivid colours and patterns
feels like a painting on my soul
so divine, I feel fine
it brings me love, it takes me through
a dimension I've never noticed before
and I never want it to end
Untitled
I am a door, unopened yet unlocked
I am the floor, often walked over
I am a wall, enclosing the outside world
I am a ceiling, stopping you from reaching the stars
I am a window, proving there's more to life than the room you're in
there's millions of rooms
and millions of houses
all across the world
but nothing will soothe your soul like the outdoors will
If I fall
"If I fall, will anyone hear my call?"
that's what she's thinking
be realistic, you're being sadistic
sending everyone ballistic
causing her pain
making her have tears that fall down
as fast as the pouring rain
you want to make a prank call
but I'm not playing ball
you're being cruel
she's thinking
"If I fall, will I live to tell the tale?"
be realistic, you're being sadistic
sending everyone ballistic
making her cry
but she's trying
trying to be strong
you go to punch her
be realistic, you're being sadistic
her mother's gone ballistic
she's bleeding
"if I fall, will anyone hear my call?"
nobody ever heard her call
here we are, standing tall
wearing black
she can't come back
be realistic, you were sadistic
if you fall, will anyone hear your call?
12/3/99
that's what she's thinking
be realistic, you're being sadistic
sending everyone ballistic
causing her pain
making her have tears that fall down
as fast as the pouring rain
you want to make a prank call
but I'm not playing ball
you're being cruel
she's thinking
"If I fall, will I live to tell the tale?"
be realistic, you're being sadistic
sending everyone ballistic
making her cry
but she's trying
trying to be strong
you go to punch her
be realistic, you're being sadistic
her mother's gone ballistic
she's bleeding
"if I fall, will anyone hear my call?"
nobody ever heard her call
here we are, standing tall
wearing black
she can't come back
be realistic, you were sadistic
if you fall, will anyone hear your call?
12/3/99
The Day
my love is forever
as long as we're together
our first kiss
my first memory of bliss
when we're all alone
I get a shiver down my back bone
if you turn out the light
afterwards I'll kiss you all night
you've been there, done that
now you're letting me explore
places I've never been before
you kiss down to the soul
I love you mentally, emotionally, physically
smile baby smile
it's alright
let's make love all night
my brains stopped functioning
my heart is pumping
I can feel your love
surrounding me, wanting me
sometimes I think about what your love is doing to me
I can read your mind
you smile, I smile
looking to our future
but I know that day
is coming our way
20/6/99
as long as we're together
our first kiss
my first memory of bliss
when we're all alone
I get a shiver down my back bone
if you turn out the light
afterwards I'll kiss you all night
you've been there, done that
now you're letting me explore
places I've never been before
you kiss down to the soul
I love you mentally, emotionally, physically
smile baby smile
it's alright
let's make love all night
my brains stopped functioning
my heart is pumping
I can feel your love
surrounding me, wanting me
sometimes I think about what your love is doing to me
I can read your mind
you smile, I smile
looking to our future
but I know that day
is coming our way
20/6/99
Reasons why I love you
I love the way you hold me tight
I love the way we never fight
I love the way you kiss me
I love the way you miss me
I love the way you warm me up when I'm cold
I love the way you make me feel like precious like gold
I love the way you hold my hand
I love the way you understand
I love the way you read my mind
I love the way you smile, so kind
the way you came into my life
the way you take away my strife
17/8/99
I love the way we never fight
I love the way you kiss me
I love the way you miss me
I love the way you warm me up when I'm cold
I love the way you make me feel like precious like gold
I love the way you hold my hand
I love the way you understand
I love the way you read my mind
I love the way you smile, so kind
the way you came into my life
the way you take away my strife
17/8/99
Emotions
light headed
pencil unleaded
dark soul
a deep black hole
don't wanna fall
nobody hears my call
save me from this mess
if only my emotions were less
feel my smile
if it was just for a while
happiness is hard to find
while life is being so unkind
23/9/99
pencil unleaded
dark soul
a deep black hole
don't wanna fall
nobody hears my call
save me from this mess
if only my emotions were less
feel my smile
if it was just for a while
happiness is hard to find
while life is being so unkind
23/9/99
The Black and White Knife
tears fall down her grief stricken face
she now sees everything in black and white
nothing she does seems to be right
nobody she knows can think of what to say
the person they knew to be so bright
is blocking everything out of sight
she doesn't want to go outside
for fear of being reminded of him
she found true love
then fate took it away again
now it feels as if it always rains
he'll never come back
her moods are now black
she lifts up the knife
and decides to take her life
17/11/99
she now sees everything in black and white
nothing she does seems to be right
nobody she knows can think of what to say
the person they knew to be so bright
is blocking everything out of sight
she doesn't want to go outside
for fear of being reminded of him
she found true love
then fate took it away again
now it feels as if it always rains
he'll never come back
her moods are now black
she lifts up the knife
and decides to take her life
17/11/99
Two hearts intertwined
we walk together hand in hand
two hearts intertwined
I know that you always understand
we share the same mind
whenever you feel bad
I can feel it too
even when you're not with me
I see the world the way you see it
I hear words the way you hear them
I feel emotions as you feel them
there's two of us
yet it feels as it we are one
you are half, I am half
two hearts are intertwined
17/11/99
two hearts intertwined
I know that you always understand
we share the same mind
whenever you feel bad
I can feel it too
even when you're not with me
I see the world the way you see it
I hear words the way you hear them
I feel emotions as you feel them
there's two of us
yet it feels as it we are one
you are half, I am half
two hearts are intertwined
17/11/99
Rainbow of emotions
blue is....feeling low, the sky and the sea below
red is...anger, desire, love and fire
green is...envy, nature, the world and peace
yellow is...happy, sunshine and fun
pink is..soft, loving and warm
colours are emotions
colours are elements
colours make up your personality
are you deep like blue
or a mellow yellow?
or all you all the colours of the rainbow?
I am purple
a colour of many personalities
how about you?
17/11/99
red is...anger, desire, love and fire
green is...envy, nature, the world and peace
yellow is...happy, sunshine and fun
pink is..soft, loving and warm
colours are emotions
colours are elements
colours make up your personality
are you deep like blue
or a mellow yellow?
or all you all the colours of the rainbow?
I am purple
a colour of many personalities
how about you?
17/11/99
Freak
hey what's your name?
you're not the same
well neither am I
I'm known as a "freak"
don't hang around with me
then no one will like you
it's their superficial minds
it's their sadistic ways
yes, laugh at my expense
I'm not human
just a "freak"
ooh I look a bit different
must mean I'm a freak
you wretched clone
ooh I'm not a slut
well excuse me but
don't call me a freak!
30/12/99
you're not the same
well neither am I
I'm known as a "freak"
don't hang around with me
then no one will like you
it's their superficial minds
it's their sadistic ways
yes, laugh at my expense
I'm not human
just a "freak"
ooh I look a bit different
must mean I'm a freak
you wretched clone
ooh I'm not a slut
well excuse me but
don't call me a freak!
30/12/99
Love is..
Love is....like a video you want to watch over and over
love is....when you don't mind standing in the rain
love is....like a favourite book, all tattered and torn
love is....watching a creature being born
love is.....like your room, where you want to spend your time
love is....what's yours is mine
love is...a carpet, so comfortable and warm
love is...being protected from harm
love is...
us
30/12/99
love is....when you don't mind standing in the rain
love is....like a favourite book, all tattered and torn
love is....watching a creature being born
love is.....like your room, where you want to spend your time
love is....what's yours is mine
love is...a carpet, so comfortable and warm
love is...being protected from harm
love is...
us
30/12/99
Candle
The candle burns so brightly
the one you hold so tightly
it's so clear
the flame is still burning
the way you're still yearning
she let go long ago
but you can't bring yourself to blow out the flame
the way you took the blame
no picture in the frame
no more lipsticks marks on her cup
just the distinct smell of her perfume
the same aroma as your scented candle
the candle's getting lower
she can't stay forever
one blow
gone
30.12.99
the one you hold so tightly
it's so clear
the flame is still burning
the way you're still yearning
she let go long ago
but you can't bring yourself to blow out the flame
the way you took the blame
no picture in the frame
no more lipsticks marks on her cup
just the distinct smell of her perfume
the same aroma as your scented candle
the candle's getting lower
she can't stay forever
one blow
gone
30.12.99
Didn't
Didn't want to push you away
Didn't know what to say
but I pushed you harder
and didn't speak the truth
didn't think I was good enough for you
didn't think I could be your dream
If only I had just been me
was I right or was it just paranoia taking over again?
didn't want to lose you
didn't want to bruise you
didn't want to but I did
22/01/00
Didn't know what to say
but I pushed you harder
and didn't speak the truth
didn't think I was good enough for you
didn't think I could be your dream
If only I had just been me
was I right or was it just paranoia taking over again?
didn't want to lose you
didn't want to bruise you
didn't want to but I did
22/01/00
Julie
there was two friends called Holly and Julie
they were best friends till Holly decided she loved John truly
this shouldn't matter but
Holly was never around
Julie grew depressed
then she ran away, never to be found
Holly didn't even notice
much too wrapped up in John
but he turned out to be a con
so when she needed a shoulder to cry on
no one was there
the very next day Julie was found
where?
no one knows
bit it hit like an eclipse
DEAD
21/01/00
they were best friends till Holly decided she loved John truly
this shouldn't matter but
Holly was never around
Julie grew depressed
then she ran away, never to be found
Holly didn't even notice
much too wrapped up in John
but he turned out to be a con
so when she needed a shoulder to cry on
no one was there
the very next day Julie was found
where?
no one knows
bit it hit like an eclipse
DEAD
21/01/00
Why
why am I so stupid?
why can't I let go?
and let myself love you
I know I do
I even tell you I do
of course I do
but I won't let myself
I cannot prove I love you
because I always get you down
and when I do I end up with a frown
why can't I let you love me?
why do I always need convincing?
why I am always so paranoid?
when you show it all the time
I don't know how to let go of my inhibitions
I don't know how to prove I care
I don't know how to bare my soul
or how to fulfil my goals
I want to help you with your nasty habits
but I feel like I'm letting them breed like rabbits
you're probably smoking right now
I'm surprised you're still with me
I wouldn't blame you if you left
If I tell the truth
I feel I'm hurting you
22/01/00
why can't I let go?
and let myself love you
I know I do
I even tell you I do
of course I do
but I won't let myself
I cannot prove I love you
because I always get you down
and when I do I end up with a frown
why can't I let you love me?
why do I always need convincing?
why I am always so paranoid?
when you show it all the time
I don't know how to let go of my inhibitions
I don't know how to prove I care
I don't know how to bare my soul
or how to fulfil my goals
I want to help you with your nasty habits
but I feel like I'm letting them breed like rabbits
you're probably smoking right now
I'm surprised you're still with me
I wouldn't blame you if you left
If I tell the truth
I feel I'm hurting you
22/01/00
Crying
You hadn't cried for years
many upsets and no tears
you wanted to cry
but it didn't matter how hard you tried
tears would never flow
we had a silly fallout
over an old engagement ring
but we didn't know what happiness it would bring
good always comes out of bad
there was no need to be sad
we ended up spilling our hearts
instead of throwing darts
I cried, you cried
for happiness, not for fear
the spell on you was broken
you could now shed a tear
23/01/00
many upsets and no tears
you wanted to cry
but it didn't matter how hard you tried
tears would never flow
we had a silly fallout
over an old engagement ring
but we didn't know what happiness it would bring
good always comes out of bad
there was no need to be sad
we ended up spilling our hearts
instead of throwing darts
I cried, you cried
for happiness, not for fear
the spell on you was broken
you could now shed a tear
23/01/00
You Won't Kill Me
bitch, tart, slapper, cow
all of these names
are part of your silly games
you won't defeat me
that you'll never see
I have inner power
and all you have is words
words may hurt
but they won't remain
you won't kill me
don't even will me
that's it, stick the knife in further
see if I break
you won't do it
I may hate you
I may resent you
but you won't kill me
1/2/00
all of these names
are part of your silly games
you won't defeat me
that you'll never see
I have inner power
and all you have is words
words may hurt
but they won't remain
you won't kill me
don't even will me
that's it, stick the knife in further
see if I break
you won't do it
I may hate you
I may resent you
but you won't kill me
1/2/00
Temptation
A strong feeling is coming over me
how can I resist you?
I've got to kiss you
Temptation
you know you've got me for sure
temptation
you taste so sweet
you've swept me off my feet
temptation
whatever you're doing, wherever you're going
you know I'll come running
you are so delicious
temptation
the way you look at me with those big brown eyes
you're not like all the other guys
temptation
I'll look after you
if you look after me
temptation
you're the best!
2/2/00
how can I resist you?
I've got to kiss you
Temptation
you know you've got me for sure
temptation
you taste so sweet
you've swept me off my feet
temptation
whatever you're doing, wherever you're going
you know I'll come running
you are so delicious
temptation
the way you look at me with those big brown eyes
you're not like all the other guys
temptation
I'll look after you
if you look after me
temptation
you're the best!
2/2/00
Crumble
Ouch that hurt
what a malicious cow
go back to your hole
and take your silly posse with you
you make me sick
everytime you call me by your malicious words
I want to scream, I want to shout
I want to be free, I want to get out
I'm not as innocent as you think
I know it's you that stinks
no one deserves to be humiliated
the way you humiliated me
you may laugh at me now
but in the end it's going to be me that's laughing
when you fall down the drain
and people start to realise I have a brain
I have a chance in life
even though you cause me strife
I won't ever go to prison
but you'll be in and out all your life
I have someone who loves me
you have nothing but a line of blokes
who want to get you into bed
I wonder what's wrong in your head
I will survive
but you will crumble
further
and
further
down!
7/2/00
what a malicious cow
go back to your hole
and take your silly posse with you
you make me sick
everytime you call me by your malicious words
I want to scream, I want to shout
I want to be free, I want to get out
I'm not as innocent as you think
I know it's you that stinks
no one deserves to be humiliated
the way you humiliated me
you may laugh at me now
but in the end it's going to be me that's laughing
when you fall down the drain
and people start to realise I have a brain
I have a chance in life
even though you cause me strife
I won't ever go to prison
but you'll be in and out all your life
I have someone who loves me
you have nothing but a line of blokes
who want to get you into bed
I wonder what's wrong in your head
I will survive
but you will crumble
further
and
further
down!
7/2/00
Turn Around and Walk Out The Door
Stop this discrimination
stop causing a suffocation
you're making people choke
and you think it's just a stupid joke
you are poison
causing the world injury
you say you want a child
instead you're running wild
you're stuck in the shallow end
but I want to dive deep
you won't leave them alone
now they've disconnected the phone
you can easily pull them down
but you're the one that will drown
keep your litter off the floor
turn around and walk out the door
I've kept my money out of reach
now go away you stupid leech
no more blood and gore
you've already killed once
turn around and walk out the door
9/2/00
stop causing a suffocation
you're making people choke
and you think it's just a stupid joke
you are poison
causing the world injury
you say you want a child
instead you're running wild
you're stuck in the shallow end
but I want to dive deep
you won't leave them alone
now they've disconnected the phone
you can easily pull them down
but you're the one that will drown
keep your litter off the floor
turn around and walk out the door
I've kept my money out of reach
now go away you stupid leech
no more blood and gore
you've already killed once
turn around and walk out the door
9/2/00
If Only You Knew
for my grandad RIP
My mind is filled with so many thoughts
my soul is full of so many words
my heart is so full of love
my eyes are full of depth
if only you knew
my mind isn't always positive
my soul is sometimes dark
my heart sometimes breaks
and my eyes are sometimes shallow
if only you knew
my hair is thick and soft
my hands are soft and delicate
my feet can walk for many miles
my nose can smell deceit
my hair gets greasy
my hands get dry
my feet sometimes ache
my nose is sometimes blocked
if only you knew
if only you knew
how I miss him so
he went off in a cloud of smoke
no last words he spoke
I told myself to be brave
as they buried him in his grave
I comforted you, you comforted me
If only you knew
I still think of him today
11/2/00
My mind is filled with so many thoughts
my soul is full of so many words
my heart is so full of love
my eyes are full of depth
if only you knew
my mind isn't always positive
my soul is sometimes dark
my heart sometimes breaks
and my eyes are sometimes shallow
if only you knew
my hair is thick and soft
my hands are soft and delicate
my feet can walk for many miles
my nose can smell deceit
my hair gets greasy
my hands get dry
my feet sometimes ache
my nose is sometimes blocked
if only you knew
if only you knew
how I miss him so
he went off in a cloud of smoke
no last words he spoke
I told myself to be brave
as they buried him in his grave
I comforted you, you comforted me
If only you knew
I still think of him today
11/2/00
Flowers
one petal means you love me
two petals means you love me not
a stem means you care
a flower means you don't care
a rose is a sign of love
but even a daisy is good enough for me
love isn't about huge gestures
it's the little things that really count
a letter of affection
or a bouquet to get my attention?
the letter would be for me
words of love show devotion
but flowers are just pretty to look at
you can look back on the letter forever
but flowers eventually die
we have true love
a thousand letters rather than a thousand flowers
I know we will always be together
11/2/00
two petals means you love me not
a stem means you care
a flower means you don't care
a rose is a sign of love
but even a daisy is good enough for me
love isn't about huge gestures
it's the little things that really count
a letter of affection
or a bouquet to get my attention?
the letter would be for me
words of love show devotion
but flowers are just pretty to look at
you can look back on the letter forever
but flowers eventually die
we have true love
a thousand letters rather than a thousand flowers
I know we will always be together
11/2/00
Boredom
boredom is like a blank empty space
nothing but a meaningless blank
an empty face
total symmetrical
not a line out of place
boredom
what can you do?
when TV doesn't appeal
and your favourite cd holds a permanent seal
look into space
it's full of colour, full of things to do
but what good is that?
when you're bored?
the cure?
friendship
31/3/00
nothing but a meaningless blank
an empty face
total symmetrical
not a line out of place
boredom
what can you do?
when TV doesn't appeal
and your favourite cd holds a permanent seal
look into space
it's full of colour, full of things to do
but what good is that?
when you're bored?
the cure?
friendship
31/3/00
Suicide Note
you were one of the happiest people I knew
well at least that's what I thought
I know your friendships were only a few
but you really meant a lot to us
you were really great
but now you've decided to visit Heaven's gate
I know how you felt
I've always been unpopular myself
I wish I could have stopped you
I wish I could have changed your mind
but by the time I got your suicide note
you were already gone
why are people so pathetic?
why does popularity matter so much?
why does it matter what clothes you wear?
people really suck
and because of their stupidity
that's why you're gone
you were really a special person
just because you only had us guys
doesn't mean you weren't worth knowing
I just wish I could have told you this
before you decided to take your life
if you judge a person by their looks and popularity
what a sad person you are
you damage so many lives
and it effects us all
25/7/00
well at least that's what I thought
I know your friendships were only a few
but you really meant a lot to us
you were really great
but now you've decided to visit Heaven's gate
I know how you felt
I've always been unpopular myself
I wish I could have stopped you
I wish I could have changed your mind
but by the time I got your suicide note
you were already gone
why are people so pathetic?
why does popularity matter so much?
why does it matter what clothes you wear?
people really suck
and because of their stupidity
that's why you're gone
you were really a special person
just because you only had us guys
doesn't mean you weren't worth knowing
I just wish I could have told you this
before you decided to take your life
if you judge a person by their looks and popularity
what a sad person you are
you damage so many lives
and it effects us all
25/7/00
Elements
Everyday we walk upon the ground
The ground so solid, so stable
shouldn't we learn to appreciate the Earth?
stop littering the grounds
if we didn't have the Earth what would we walk on?
If you believe in the Earth
the gnomes will be at the north
ready to bless you with their stability
everyday we breathe in the air
it cools us down, it warms us up
we need the air to breathe
feel the air, blowing your hair
if we didn't have the air, how would we live?
if you believe in the air
the sylphs will be at the east
ready to bless you with their wisdom
everyday we drink the water
use it for washing up
cleanse ourselves with water
feel the rain pouring down
hear the tap go drip drip drip
if you believe in the water
the undines will be at the west
ready to bless you with their creativity
everyday the sun shines down on us
brings us light, brings us warmth
feel the sun beaming down
watch as the flowers bow down to the light
if you believe in the fire
the salamanders will be at the south
ready to bless you with their courage
everyday divinity chooses our fate
watches what we do
and sends it back threefold
lets us learn how to live
lets us choose our own decisions
watch for the goddess in the sky at night
her brightness will astound you
if you believe in divinity
she is all around you
blessing you all the time
4/8/00
The ground so solid, so stable
shouldn't we learn to appreciate the Earth?
stop littering the grounds
if we didn't have the Earth what would we walk on?
If you believe in the Earth
the gnomes will be at the north
ready to bless you with their stability
everyday we breathe in the air
it cools us down, it warms us up
we need the air to breathe
feel the air, blowing your hair
if we didn't have the air, how would we live?
if you believe in the air
the sylphs will be at the east
ready to bless you with their wisdom
everyday we drink the water
use it for washing up
cleanse ourselves with water
feel the rain pouring down
hear the tap go drip drip drip
if you believe in the water
the undines will be at the west
ready to bless you with their creativity
everyday the sun shines down on us
brings us light, brings us warmth
feel the sun beaming down
watch as the flowers bow down to the light
if you believe in the fire
the salamanders will be at the south
ready to bless you with their courage
everyday divinity chooses our fate
watches what we do
and sends it back threefold
lets us learn how to live
lets us choose our own decisions
watch for the goddess in the sky at night
her brightness will astound you
if you believe in divinity
she is all around you
blessing you all the time
4/8/00
Saturday, 17 July 2010
Flames
I glow like a star in the night
I will be your only light
My flame will ride high
through the mystery of life
watch me as I dance for you
look into my flame
and you will see who's to blame
I'll predict your future
and I'll recall your past
watch me flicker
I am your key
to spirituality
let me show you the way
to connect with divinity
and you will know what to say
4/8/00
I will be your only light
My flame will ride high
through the mystery of life
watch me as I dance for you
look into my flame
and you will see who's to blame
I'll predict your future
and I'll recall your past
watch me flicker
I am your key
to spirituality
let me show you the way
to connect with divinity
and you will know what to say
4/8/00
Life
Life is not a still painting
life makes you feel fainting
life is not what you see on the television
life is just one big decision
life is not what you read in a book
life can be worth a look
life is not a curse
I know it sometimes feels the worse
but don't take it
not just because of some silly git
life is a gift
use it to your advantage
life is precious
even if it's sometimes vicious
keep it.
6/8/00
life makes you feel fainting
life is not what you see on the television
life is just one big decision
life is not what you read in a book
life can be worth a look
life is not a curse
I know it sometimes feels the worse
but don't take it
not just because of some silly git
life is a gift
use it to your advantage
life is precious
even if it's sometimes vicious
keep it.
6/8/00
Spirit
scream loudly at what they've done to you
impatience gets you nowhere
only your parents are to blame
guilty trap of insolence
angels of mercy call out your name
glorify the evidence of what you sow
can the silence of my voice, really startle you
into thinking sorrowful thoughts of woe?
dream slowly of what can only be the potential of happiness
glowing on your cheeks
dreams of emptiness filling up with joy
flowers of nature gather in the stable of youth
remember your sorrows but never forget your joys
5/4/02
impatience gets you nowhere
only your parents are to blame
guilty trap of insolence
angels of mercy call out your name
glorify the evidence of what you sow
can the silence of my voice, really startle you
into thinking sorrowful thoughts of woe?
dream slowly of what can only be the potential of happiness
glowing on your cheeks
dreams of emptiness filling up with joy
flowers of nature gather in the stable of youth
remember your sorrows but never forget your joys
5/4/02
Torture
lying awake
tossing and turning
why do I say such stupid things?
all I'm doing
is torturing myself
things would have been fine today
if only I had dropped the subject
but now I've only got myself to blame
I feel physically sick
who knew that something so small could turn so big?
sometimes it seems as soon as I'm happy
I let myself down
I shouldn't have a permanent frown
you treat me so well
but then I go and give you hell
maybe I'm just not good enough for you
the thing is, I know that's not true
I'm just making myself blue
the dreams keep occurring
you committing suicide
and I know it's my fault
us splitting up
tell me
is that going to happen?
29/9/00
tossing and turning
why do I say such stupid things?
all I'm doing
is torturing myself
things would have been fine today
if only I had dropped the subject
but now I've only got myself to blame
I feel physically sick
who knew that something so small could turn so big?
sometimes it seems as soon as I'm happy
I let myself down
I shouldn't have a permanent frown
you treat me so well
but then I go and give you hell
maybe I'm just not good enough for you
the thing is, I know that's not true
I'm just making myself blue
the dreams keep occurring
you committing suicide
and I know it's my fault
us splitting up
tell me
is that going to happen?
29/9/00
The Mirror and The Flies
The Mirror
A reflection of what's on the inside
a superficial way of seeing yourself
it doesn't even show you the right way round
it's much harder to see what's on the inside
does it mean we've all got something to hide?
The Flies
A hundred million flies
all flying around my room
why do they fly here
when they have a choice in where to go?
they're just flying, flying
like any fly would do
but they choose to fly here
here in my empty place
both written 4/2/01
A reflection of what's on the inside
a superficial way of seeing yourself
it doesn't even show you the right way round
it's much harder to see what's on the inside
does it mean we've all got something to hide?
The Flies
A hundred million flies
all flying around my room
why do they fly here
when they have a choice in where to go?
they're just flying, flying
like any fly would do
but they choose to fly here
here in my empty place
both written 4/2/01
Alive
I wish I could understand the things you do
you say you want me to be happy
but it never feels that way
my life is just fine
only you, seem to ruin my day
I can't do everything you say
this life is mine
I wish you would talk to me instead of shout
you say you're only looking out for me
but you never ask how I feel
my emotions are positive
only you, give me emotional kill
I can't pretend it's not real
I'm still alive
8/2/01
you say you want me to be happy
but it never feels that way
my life is just fine
only you, seem to ruin my day
I can't do everything you say
this life is mine
I wish you would talk to me instead of shout
you say you're only looking out for me
but you never ask how I feel
my emotions are positive
only you, give me emotional kill
I can't pretend it's not real
I'm still alive
8/2/01
A Situation So Unkind
I don't know which way to turn
this whole situation makes me burn
I want to kill myself
end this everlasting torture
only I know that's not the cure
maybe I should run
in the direction of the sun
or should I pull the trigger of my gun?
This act I'm pulling won't last
I can't forget the not so distant past
I just want to run fast
You say you'll wait
I hope it won't be too late
please bring us back together, fate
I can't live without you
and that's a fact
confidence and self esteem is what I lack
I really want you back
Life can be so hard
when you're given the red card
I can't stand this anymore
this has hurt me to the core
3/3/01
this whole situation makes me burn
I want to kill myself
end this everlasting torture
only I know that's not the cure
maybe I should run
in the direction of the sun
or should I pull the trigger of my gun?
This act I'm pulling won't last
I can't forget the not so distant past
I just want to run fast
You say you'll wait
I hope it won't be too late
please bring us back together, fate
I can't live without you
and that's a fact
confidence and self esteem is what I lack
I really want you back
Life can be so hard
when you're given the red card
I can't stand this anymore
this has hurt me to the core
3/3/01
Ode to the Lava Lamp
Oh lava lamp
how you bend and shape
your blobs so transfixing
the most focused of people get distracted
you fuel imagination
and create images a plenty
lava lamps around the world
rejoice in your light
you create hundreds of smiles
all through the night
16/8/01
how you bend and shape
your blobs so transfixing
the most focused of people get distracted
you fuel imagination
and create images a plenty
lava lamps around the world
rejoice in your light
you create hundreds of smiles
all through the night
16/8/01
Just be Me
I wander on the path of loneliness
my heart filled with fear
of what, how and when
something inside, is just not right
I can feel it like emptiness
I can't control my tears
I don't know who I'm supposed to be
I'll guess I'll just be me
16/8/01
my heart filled with fear
of what, how and when
something inside, is just not right
I can feel it like emptiness
I can't control my tears
I don't know who I'm supposed to be
I'll guess I'll just be me
16/8/01
Untitled
At last I've found my dream, my love supreme
the theme of my scream, I'm the cat that got the cream
the beam of sunlight through your window
the glimpse of hope in your shadow
the love that watches you from below
I'm that piece of grass you never mow
I am the silence of your night
I am the joy in your sight
I will always be your light
2/2/02
the theme of my scream, I'm the cat that got the cream
the beam of sunlight through your window
the glimpse of hope in your shadow
the love that watches you from below
I'm that piece of grass you never mow
I am the silence of your night
I am the joy in your sight
I will always be your light
2/2/02
One Way Ticket
shining bright, glowing hard
traffic lights are red telling you to stop
keep driving forward, faster and faster
dreaming freely
of love, hope, sorrow and remorse
head full of flies
holding thoughts of emptiness
you can't help feeling the train has left it's station
hardened souls of wretched torture
fire burning strong
the flow of midnight
is slowly destroying your head
5/4/02
traffic lights are red telling you to stop
keep driving forward, faster and faster
dreaming freely
of love, hope, sorrow and remorse
head full of flies
holding thoughts of emptiness
you can't help feeling the train has left it's station
hardened souls of wretched torture
fire burning strong
the flow of midnight
is slowly destroying your head
5/4/02
The Truth
Capital sensation
nobody sees the lies hidden within the truth
the truth as dictated
by the powers that be
but why can't we see
those things they always ignore
hidden within the depths of yesterdays news
never to be seen
never to be heard
amongst the clouds of rumours
obey the law
pay your rent
listen to the government
you know they're always right
right?
17/4/02
nobody sees the lies hidden within the truth
the truth as dictated
by the powers that be
but why can't we see
those things they always ignore
hidden within the depths of yesterdays news
never to be seen
never to be heard
amongst the clouds of rumours
obey the law
pay your rent
listen to the government
you know they're always right
right?
17/4/02
The Vision
Watch the light
flicker in front of your eyes
don't fight it
give in to the sight
such a wondrous view
so bright and colourful
a glittery dew
makes you feel so brand new
idealistic views on life
are the key to this existence
lay down the knife
and love your life
21/5/02
flicker in front of your eyes
don't fight it
give in to the sight
such a wondrous view
so bright and colourful
a glittery dew
makes you feel so brand new
idealistic views on life
are the key to this existence
lay down the knife
and love your life
21/5/02
Fallen Angel
Slipping, sliding
dripping, dropping
calling, crying
mourning the loss she's suffered
drinking, driving
sniffing, snorting
injecting, anticipating
wasting the life she's discovered
much too much
much too late
skidding, shaking
retching, choking
fallen angel
no more flying
22/5/02
dripping, dropping
calling, crying
mourning the loss she's suffered
drinking, driving
sniffing, snorting
injecting, anticipating
wasting the life she's discovered
much too much
much too late
skidding, shaking
retching, choking
fallen angel
no more flying
22/5/02
Wake Up
Glimpsing into the future
I see you standing there
shivering and shaking
wondering how you got this position
glimpsing into the past
I see you standing there
sitting on your ass
thinking you'll be a millionaire
you need to move
you need to know what you want
stop expecting it to fall in your lap
it's time for you to wake up
from your lifetime nap
get into gear
push yourself forward
make yourself known
life is for living!
4/8/02
I see you standing there
shivering and shaking
wondering how you got this position
glimpsing into the past
I see you standing there
sitting on your ass
thinking you'll be a millionaire
you need to move
you need to know what you want
stop expecting it to fall in your lap
it's time for you to wake up
from your lifetime nap
get into gear
push yourself forward
make yourself known
life is for living!
4/8/02
Goodbye
Doors closing shut
cords have been cut
sun is setting
the story is ending
time to say goodbye
let out a big sigh
but no longer do I cry
and your tears I will dry
new doors will open
no need to question when
just know this
I don't regret our every kiss
I'll remember every gentle word
I let you go in peace and love
goodbye as a lover
and hello as a friend
17/8/02
cords have been cut
sun is setting
the story is ending
time to say goodbye
let out a big sigh
but no longer do I cry
and your tears I will dry
new doors will open
no need to question when
just know this
I don't regret our every kiss
I'll remember every gentle word
I let you go in peace and love
goodbye as a lover
and hello as a friend
17/8/02
Moving On
Clouds whispering your name
destined never to feel the same
walk into the light
you know this is right
no longer just a shadow
no more feeling low
just feel the joy
stop feeling coy
dream in colour
in the nightly hour
time to change
time to move on
time to let go
20/8/02
destined never to feel the same
walk into the light
you know this is right
no longer just a shadow
no more feeling low
just feel the joy
stop feeling coy
dream in colour
in the nightly hour
time to change
time to move on
time to let go
20/8/02
Subliminal Message
What is wrong with the world today
you gotta go the devil's way
subliminal messages just for fun
shoot shoot get the gun get the gun
it's wrong to listen to rock music
suck satan's dick
your soul will be damned
you must worship the dead
guitars will corrupt your mind
you must become lucifer's kind
the drumbeat will leave dents
in your brain, in your brain
throw education down the drain
rock music is evil
you gotta take that pill
be Christian and listen to pop
the church community we must stop!
31/8/02
you gotta go the devil's way
subliminal messages just for fun
shoot shoot get the gun get the gun
it's wrong to listen to rock music
suck satan's dick
your soul will be damned
you must worship the dead
guitars will corrupt your mind
you must become lucifer's kind
the drumbeat will leave dents
in your brain, in your brain
throw education down the drain
rock music is evil
you gotta take that pill
be Christian and listen to pop
the church community we must stop!
31/8/02
Untitled
A lightbulb has switched on in my head
maybe there's a reason for me to get out of bed
the torch will guide my way
to the one who will make my day
the room suddenly fills with a white light
a force which I can't fight
my heart skips a beat
I've never known such a treat
like chocolate, so sweet
I'm melting
melting into your arms
you've granted my every wish
and lifted my heavy burden
I don't need my torch
your beauty makes everything clear
and heaven so near
you are my love
and I will always be yours
26/2/02
maybe there's a reason for me to get out of bed
the torch will guide my way
to the one who will make my day
the room suddenly fills with a white light
a force which I can't fight
my heart skips a beat
I've never known such a treat
like chocolate, so sweet
I'm melting
melting into your arms
you've granted my every wish
and lifted my heavy burden
I don't need my torch
your beauty makes everything clear
and heaven so near
you are my love
and I will always be yours
26/2/02
Hippy Song
save the forests
save the trees
this is a hippy song
smoke some pot
smoke some weed
this is a hippy song
wear flowers in your hair
and don't care who stares
this is a hippy song
relaxed attitudes
no qualms about nudes
this is a hippy song
9/2/03
save the trees
this is a hippy song
smoke some pot
smoke some weed
this is a hippy song
wear flowers in your hair
and don't care who stares
this is a hippy song
relaxed attitudes
no qualms about nudes
this is a hippy song
9/2/03
The Leaf Trail
Once I saw a trail of leaves
and wondered where they led
when suddenly I heard a child cry
"To the faeries! To the faeries!"
Curious to the child's glee
I followed so I could see
It seemed we walked a thousand miles
in a matter of five minutes
it turned out we were in faeryland
and the child was an elf in a band
they played music so sublime
I lost track of time
what I thought was an hour
was in fact eleven years since I had a shower!
29/10/03
and wondered where they led
when suddenly I heard a child cry
"To the faeries! To the faeries!"
Curious to the child's glee
I followed so I could see
It seemed we walked a thousand miles
in a matter of five minutes
it turned out we were in faeryland
and the child was an elf in a band
they played music so sublime
I lost track of time
what I thought was an hour
was in fact eleven years since I had a shower!
29/10/03
Unexpected
It's funny how you can get someone so wrong
I thought my intuition was so strong
But you're changed my perception completely
I never realised I judged what I saw
Before I even knew what was inside
If you knew what I thought, I'd hide
You're the opposite of what I thought
A wonderful gem of a person
funloving and joyous
you remind me to live life to the fullest
when I'm with you, I don't feel boring
When I'm with you, I remember what fun is
what I like about you most is
you feel like a friend
1.12.03
I thought my intuition was so strong
But you're changed my perception completely
I never realised I judged what I saw
Before I even knew what was inside
If you knew what I thought, I'd hide
You're the opposite of what I thought
A wonderful gem of a person
funloving and joyous
you remind me to live life to the fullest
when I'm with you, I don't feel boring
When I'm with you, I remember what fun is
what I like about you most is
you feel like a friend
1.12.03
The Rarr
*this is one about one of the fairies in the Faery Oracle deck of cards
Such excitable energy
bouncing so fast
never stops moving
always on the go
The rarr comes into your life and promptly turns it upside down
makes you feel so lightheaded
wow I feel overwhelmingly happy
but at the same time so restless
great mother earth please help me calm down
I'll listen to your soothing sound
It's wonderful to have your head in the clouds
but even more important to keep your feet on the ground
18/4/04
Such excitable energy
bouncing so fast
never stops moving
always on the go
The rarr comes into your life and promptly turns it upside down
makes you feel so lightheaded
wow I feel overwhelmingly happy
but at the same time so restless
great mother earth please help me calm down
I'll listen to your soothing sound
It's wonderful to have your head in the clouds
but even more important to keep your feet on the ground
18/4/04
Wednesday, 14 July 2010
Mirror
"You look fat" the mirror said to the slender girl standing in front of it
The girl cut out the fatty contents of her diet
she returned to the mirror
"You just get bigger and bigger" the mirror said with a sigh
the girl began going to the gym
"You'll never be slim!" the mirror cried
she tried and tried but
"Just look at the gut!"
one night she forced herself to be sick
"You're so thick" the mirror taunted
she took a knife to her wrist
a few days later her mum found a list
it listed goodbyes to family and friends
love and affection she sends
the mirror lay broken on the floor
the girl was now at death's door
17/12/04
The girl cut out the fatty contents of her diet
she returned to the mirror
"You just get bigger and bigger" the mirror said with a sigh
the girl began going to the gym
"You'll never be slim!" the mirror cried
she tried and tried but
"Just look at the gut!"
one night she forced herself to be sick
"You're so thick" the mirror taunted
she took a knife to her wrist
a few days later her mum found a list
it listed goodbyes to family and friends
love and affection she sends
the mirror lay broken on the floor
the girl was now at death's door
17/12/04
Real Girls
Real girls wear make up
Real girls should wear skirts
Real girls should chase the boys
Real girls want to get married
Real girls want to have children
what if I don't want to?
Am I still a real girl?
18/12/04
Real girls should wear skirts
Real girls should chase the boys
Real girls want to get married
Real girls want to have children
what if I don't want to?
Am I still a real girl?
18/12/04
Untitled
After that first kiss
is it really going to stay bliss?
is everything going to stay the same
or will we be playing a different game?
will I stay the same person I thought I was
will you be the same person I fell in love with
everything changes with a touch
I just hope it won't be too much
everything changes with the years
I just hope it won't end in tears
27/12/04
is it really going to stay bliss?
is everything going to stay the same
or will we be playing a different game?
will I stay the same person I thought I was
will you be the same person I fell in love with
everything changes with a touch
I just hope it won't be too much
everything changes with the years
I just hope it won't end in tears
27/12/04
Door
Turn the doorknob
let yourself in
the door is open
are you going to go through?
life is full of doors
only you can choose which ones you will go through
and which ones you will slam shut
30/12/04
let yourself in
the door is open
are you going to go through?
life is full of doors
only you can choose which ones you will go through
and which ones you will slam shut
30/12/04
Untitled and For Roxie
Feelings so soft like waves on my soul
breathing, tossing, turning
bringing tranquillity amongst the buzzing of reality
sometimes I just want to switch it off
feel the silence of a thousand dreams
cutting the shreds of life away
and starting anew with the freshness of beginning
4/2/06
For Roxie
I love the way you look at me with your big green eyes
I love the way you'll never tell me lies
I love the way you touch my face
I love the way you run around as if you're in a race
I like the way your feline eyes are full of expression
I like the way you listen to my confessions
I like the way you stretch out and let me rub your belly
I like the way you sit on top of the telly
You're not just a cat
You're not merely a pet
you're my friend and companion
part of the family
and I will always love you!
3/7/05
breathing, tossing, turning
bringing tranquillity amongst the buzzing of reality
sometimes I just want to switch it off
feel the silence of a thousand dreams
cutting the shreds of life away
and starting anew with the freshness of beginning
4/2/06
For Roxie
I love the way you look at me with your big green eyes
I love the way you'll never tell me lies
I love the way you touch my face
I love the way you run around as if you're in a race
I like the way your feline eyes are full of expression
I like the way you listen to my confessions
I like the way you stretch out and let me rub your belly
I like the way you sit on top of the telly
You're not just a cat
You're not merely a pet
you're my friend and companion
part of the family
and I will always love you!
3/7/05
All written on 12/2/06
Poem 1
Beneath I feel a sordid power as the urge shakes
what was once my dream garden
and sends it crashing down
there these chains of sleep could free me
from the restraints of reality's seatbelt
but now it's gone
and I can feel no more
once again I will wait for you
to raise your beautiful smile on me
and give me wings to fly once more.
poem 2
Whisper your diamond light
I can see it through and through
It doesn't matter what you do
I can see it, so brand new
your aura shines from a mile away
and your smile makes my day.
Poem 3
Let's produce petal love together
so we can make a flower
to live in and create
a dimension of our own
time and space
where everyday wears a different face.
Beneath I feel a sordid power as the urge shakes
what was once my dream garden
and sends it crashing down
there these chains of sleep could free me
from the restraints of reality's seatbelt
but now it's gone
and I can feel no more
once again I will wait for you
to raise your beautiful smile on me
and give me wings to fly once more.
poem 2
Whisper your diamond light
I can see it through and through
It doesn't matter what you do
I can see it, so brand new
your aura shines from a mile away
and your smile makes my day.
Poem 3
Let's produce petal love together
so we can make a flower
to live in and create
a dimension of our own
time and space
where everyday wears a different face.
Blessed Be
I wish I could see you
I wish I could hear your voice
My love for you grow stronger every day
you are my ultimate happiness
unconditional love flows through you
yet I can't see your face
yet I can't hear your voice
but my love will never stop.
I can feel your presence all the time
In the trees, even in the daisies on street corners
I hear your magick constantly
In the birds song, in a child's laughter
You are everything and everything is you.
Thank you God and Goddess
For your everyday wonders and mystical miracles
my life would be nothing without you
I love you in every possible way
after all, my friends and family are all a part of you
thank you for being there
blessed be, God and Goddess
I wish I could hear your voice
My love for you grow stronger every day
you are my ultimate happiness
unconditional love flows through you
yet I can't see your face
yet I can't hear your voice
but my love will never stop.
I can feel your presence all the time
In the trees, even in the daisies on street corners
I hear your magick constantly
In the birds song, in a child's laughter
You are everything and everything is you.
Thank you God and Goddess
For your everyday wonders and mystical miracles
my life would be nothing without you
I love you in every possible way
after all, my friends and family are all a part of you
thank you for being there
blessed be, God and Goddess
The Beauty
Sometimes the beauty in the world astounds me
Sometimes I just can't believe what I can see
What's that shining light in the corner?
Where's that fragrant smell coming from?
Sometimes I just admire the trees
Sometimes I watch the bees
what's that riding on it's back?
why is there a sparkle on the leaves?
sometimes I want to touch the flowers
sometimes in nature I want to spend my hours
I just can't believe what I can see
Faeries and nature spirits running free
what an amazing sight
Am I really seeing this in broad daylight?
The Earth is already so beautiful
and now it's beauty is intensified
sometimes the beauty in the world simply astounds me
2/8/04
Sometimes I just can't believe what I can see
What's that shining light in the corner?
Where's that fragrant smell coming from?
Sometimes I just admire the trees
Sometimes I watch the bees
what's that riding on it's back?
why is there a sparkle on the leaves?
sometimes I want to touch the flowers
sometimes in nature I want to spend my hours
I just can't believe what I can see
Faeries and nature spirits running free
what an amazing sight
Am I really seeing this in broad daylight?
The Earth is already so beautiful
and now it's beauty is intensified
sometimes the beauty in the world simply astounds me
2/8/04
Untitled
Perceptual actuality
Psychosomatic reality
Just laying here
with my face screaming
apparently those flashes
are just the trees
change the pipe
change the dream
I'm not sure I like what I see
Is this really me?
I've got my doorkey
but I'm already inside
so why do I feel like I need to hide?
24/7/06
Psychosomatic reality
Just laying here
with my face screaming
apparently those flashes
are just the trees
change the pipe
change the dream
I'm not sure I like what I see
Is this really me?
I've got my doorkey
but I'm already inside
so why do I feel like I need to hide?
24/7/06
Untitled
Cognitive thought process
like a machine analysing
the details in my mind
my mind is a tomorrow
just pat my head and see
what falls out
there's so much to see
and so much to be
It's just like watching t.v
because in my head
you need commercial breaks
but it's so much easier
to tell the real from the fake
what a fascinating place
in my cognitive thought base
24/7/06
like a machine analysing
the details in my mind
my mind is a tomorrow
just pat my head and see
what falls out
there's so much to see
and so much to be
It's just like watching t.v
because in my head
you need commercial breaks
but it's so much easier
to tell the real from the fake
what a fascinating place
in my cognitive thought base
24/7/06
Tuesday, 13 July 2010
RIP Syd Barrett
Lunatic genius
playing with the psychedelic
you were known for LSD kicks
and being part of the legend
that is Pink Floyd
Now you're gone
It will be hard to fill the void
That your lunatic genius has left
surely this loss
counts as a theft
goodbye Syd
Shine on like you always did.
11/7/06
playing with the psychedelic
you were known for LSD kicks
and being part of the legend
that is Pink Floyd
Now you're gone
It will be hard to fill the void
That your lunatic genius has left
surely this loss
counts as a theft
goodbye Syd
Shine on like you always did.
11/7/06
Stay Beautiful
Glitter in the clock
finding random sequins in my socks
doing the David Bowie bop
refusing to swallow
the price of fame
Instead choosing a life of zane
bring your disco dolly frock
and don't forget the rock
we're going to Stay Beautiful tonight
what a mesmerising sight
as we dance into the morning light
we're going to Stay Beautiful tonight
and feel as high as a kite!
July 06
finding random sequins in my socks
doing the David Bowie bop
refusing to swallow
the price of fame
Instead choosing a life of zane
bring your disco dolly frock
and don't forget the rock
we're going to Stay Beautiful tonight
what a mesmerising sight
as we dance into the morning light
we're going to Stay Beautiful tonight
and feel as high as a kite!
July 06
Untitled
You strive for perfection
but just look at your reflection
can't you see
you're wearing yourself down?
You're causing yourself to drown
It's your obsession
It's time to make a confession
superwoman you are not
if you don't stop
you might just rot
March 05
but just look at your reflection
can't you see
you're wearing yourself down?
You're causing yourself to drown
It's your obsession
It's time to make a confession
superwoman you are not
if you don't stop
you might just rot
March 05
Untitled
I'm sinking under the sun
I'm falling through the moon
I'm tripping on the stars
relaxing on a cloud
dreaming of you
and the lucky light I've found
2006
I'm falling through the moon
I'm tripping on the stars
relaxing on a cloud
dreaming of you
and the lucky light I've found
2006
Untitled
Unable to concentrate
I sit and contemplate
the time, the space, the setting
of what I might have been
before another time
before another year
another feeling of going under
try to keep my mind going
but there's no stopping
it just keeps slowing
over and out
slipping to cyperspace
I fall back in your tender arms again.
2006
I sit and contemplate
the time, the space, the setting
of what I might have been
before another time
before another year
another feeling of going under
try to keep my mind going
but there's no stopping
it just keeps slowing
over and out
slipping to cyperspace
I fall back in your tender arms again.
2006
So Sorry
So sorry for having the time to see you
to breathe you,
to grieve you,
so sorry for having the time to hate you,
like you,
love you,
so sorry for having the time to feel you
be you
dream you
so sorry to have fallen so deeply in love
with someone who doesn't have the time
to feel me
see me
dream me
so sorry I just can't stop
having the time to make rainbows out of clouds for you.
2006
to breathe you,
to grieve you,
so sorry for having the time to hate you,
like you,
love you,
so sorry for having the time to feel you
be you
dream you
so sorry to have fallen so deeply in love
with someone who doesn't have the time
to feel me
see me
dream me
so sorry I just can't stop
having the time to make rainbows out of clouds for you.
2006
Untitled
Stuck in the chair
watching the view
thinking it's time to watch the news
but do I wanna see
what's happening today
or sit back and idly wait
for Earth to meet it's deadly fate.
2006
watching the view
thinking it's time to watch the news
but do I wanna see
what's happening today
or sit back and idly wait
for Earth to meet it's deadly fate.
2006
Untitled
Sweet ancestors won't you bide your time
I need to break even with the spirits above
Can't you see what it means to me
to be at one with the seas and the trees
I'm forever searching for your touch
but everything around me has already been felt.
I need to break even with the spirits above
Can't you see what it means to me
to be at one with the seas and the trees
I'm forever searching for your touch
but everything around me has already been felt.
Untitled
Walking through the art corridor
admiring the view
of a thousand colours
twirling and swirling like a carousel in the sky
vanilla skies and the essence of moon
light up a million thought images
the illuminating patterns
spread across the flowers of my mind
and once again I'm an umbrella
soaking up the feeling
of the artist's visionary adventure.
April 06
admiring the view
of a thousand colours
twirling and swirling like a carousel in the sky
vanilla skies and the essence of moon
light up a million thought images
the illuminating patterns
spread across the flowers of my mind
and once again I'm an umbrella
soaking up the feeling
of the artist's visionary adventure.
April 06
The Patterns
The patterns start knocking at the doors of my mind
The patterns begin to emerge on the wallpaper of my mind
lilac, yellow and blue
with a hazy hue
of something new
to the senses of sight and sound
the patterns go around and around
swirling and twirling
where did they come from?
where do they go?
The patterns have gone
and now my mind is all alone.
3/4/06
The patterns begin to emerge on the wallpaper of my mind
lilac, yellow and blue
with a hazy hue
of something new
to the senses of sight and sound
the patterns go around and around
swirling and twirling
where did they come from?
where do they go?
The patterns have gone
and now my mind is all alone.
3/4/06
Untitled
My eyes feel like stitches
dreaming through the psychedelic layers of existence
trippy time in the ocean of consciousness
take me through to the rainbow side
filled with creative ambiguity
the mystery of illustration
illuminates each and every butterfly of contemplation
fly fly
remove my dirty wires
and connect me to the universe of daydreams
where I can explore
the outer zones of limitness
29/3/06
dreaming through the psychedelic layers of existence
trippy time in the ocean of consciousness
take me through to the rainbow side
filled with creative ambiguity
the mystery of illustration
illuminates each and every butterfly of contemplation
fly fly
remove my dirty wires
and connect me to the universe of daydreams
where I can explore
the outer zones of limitness
29/3/06
Untitled
My mind is a stage for my thoughts to perform
My thoughts are like shapeshifters changing in the night
The shapeshifters walk through my corridors
as the folders grow larger and larger
and the categories expand and expand
There's no knowing where it will end
every moment creates a new edition to the evergrowing catalogue
my mind is a stage for my thoughts to perform
in the show that never ends.
29.3.06
My thoughts are like shapeshifters changing in the night
The shapeshifters walk through my corridors
as the folders grow larger and larger
and the categories expand and expand
There's no knowing where it will end
every moment creates a new edition to the evergrowing catalogue
my mind is a stage for my thoughts to perform
in the show that never ends.
29.3.06
The Smell of your Hair
The smell of your hair sends me to the ocean
The smell of your hair flies me to the moon
The smell of your hair sends me higher than the trees
The smell of your hair feels like the sandy beach running through my toes
The smell of your hair makes me appreciate the midnight twilight
The smell of your hair helps me remember
all those times you've made me smile
The smell of your hair caresses my soul and makes me whole
whenever I lose faith
whenever I lose hope
The smell of your hair
can take me there.
28/3/06
The smell of your hair flies me to the moon
The smell of your hair sends me higher than the trees
The smell of your hair feels like the sandy beach running through my toes
The smell of your hair makes me appreciate the midnight twilight
The smell of your hair helps me remember
all those times you've made me smile
The smell of your hair caresses my soul and makes me whole
whenever I lose faith
whenever I lose hope
The smell of your hair
can take me there.
28/3/06
Untitled
Patterns emerge from the surface of nothingness
A pattern without a trace
As the hallucinogenic trance state starts staring you in the face
Harmony produced by surround sound
is something new you've found
There's something in everything all around
The frisbee of plasticine in your mind stretches your imagination
in your psychedelic intitation
Your mind being moulded into something new
Something you never thought you could do
You feel twice your size
and you've finally took off your disguise
in the bubblebath of perception
you always get a good reception
and you're no longer capable of deception
You can take the hallucinogenic bubblebath anytime you like
Just deep your feet in and see how you feel
and know that it's always real
18/3/06
A pattern without a trace
As the hallucinogenic trance state starts staring you in the face
Harmony produced by surround sound
is something new you've found
There's something in everything all around
The frisbee of plasticine in your mind stretches your imagination
in your psychedelic intitation
Your mind being moulded into something new
Something you never thought you could do
You feel twice your size
and you've finally took off your disguise
in the bubblebath of perception
you always get a good reception
and you're no longer capable of deception
You can take the hallucinogenic bubblebath anytime you like
Just deep your feet in and see how you feel
and know that it's always real
18/3/06
Monday, 12 July 2010
The Other Side of Nowhere
The sound of silence
rings loudly in my ears,
Vibrating through to the other side of nowhere,
I'm tripping the art fantastic
feeling transmisstic
as I ride the kaleidoscopic skies
The whole world is flavour scented
I'm breathing in the night sky
as you give advice at the altar of perception
and I lay on the altar of consciousness
vibrating through to the other side of nowhere.
March 06
rings loudly in my ears,
Vibrating through to the other side of nowhere,
I'm tripping the art fantastic
feeling transmisstic
as I ride the kaleidoscopic skies
The whole world is flavour scented
I'm breathing in the night sky
as you give advice at the altar of perception
and I lay on the altar of consciousness
vibrating through to the other side of nowhere.
March 06
Untitled
Schizophrenic hyperbitch
on the technaphobe microphone
breathing psychedelic sympathetic
breaking the ice with kaleidoscopic synthetic
making her peers seem so pathetic
Is it time for a new perception?
Or does the world just need another injection?
7/3/06
on the technaphobe microphone
breathing psychedelic sympathetic
breaking the ice with kaleidoscopic synthetic
making her peers seem so pathetic
Is it time for a new perception?
Or does the world just need another injection?
7/3/06
The Creators Moon
Words escape the clutches of the inevitable washing machine of time
In a flash it all fades away
Into nothingness and beyond the surface
rippling along the outer realm layers of illusion imagery
as reality folds over the landscape of ecstasy and amphetamines
The random car errors in my bones provide the insanity rush of an electric fire
The creators mood doesn't always make sense
Pu a treetop in the pond of life and watch it grow
as the creators moon glows.
March 06
In a flash it all fades away
Into nothingness and beyond the surface
rippling along the outer realm layers of illusion imagery
as reality folds over the landscape of ecstasy and amphetamines
The random car errors in my bones provide the insanity rush of an electric fire
The creators mood doesn't always make sense
Pu a treetop in the pond of life and watch it grow
as the creators moon glows.
March 06
Untitled
Anger consumes you
like an animal inside of you
that tears your soul apart
and removes the pieces from your clutches
your inner conciousness
is trying to bring forth the message of peace
but you're stuck between happiness
and the stake of temptation that waves in your face
maybe it's time to move on to another place
where you can start at a different pace.
24/02/06
like an animal inside of you
that tears your soul apart
and removes the pieces from your clutches
your inner conciousness
is trying to bring forth the message of peace
but you're stuck between happiness
and the stake of temptation that waves in your face
maybe it's time to move on to another place
where you can start at a different pace.
24/02/06
Disgrace
No Plastic surgery on this face
I wanna grow old with disgrace
No botox injections for me
I'll be singing rock music out of key
I wanna grow old with disgrace
Why would I want to look ten years younger?
I'll be dancing in the thunder
I wanna grow old with disgrace
12/4/07
I wanna grow old with disgrace
No botox injections for me
I'll be singing rock music out of key
I wanna grow old with disgrace
Why would I want to look ten years younger?
I'll be dancing in the thunder
I wanna grow old with disgrace
12/4/07
Writers Block 2
Needing to be inspired, want to write
but what to write?
Would it be any better if I tried at night?
A story, a poem, some meaningful lyrics
I wish I could find these words
hidden in my soul
Instead I'm left with a gaping hole
A great blank space waiting to be filled
It's like the muses lips are sealed
They're holding the key
But I can't seem to grasp it
It's out of my reach
All I can do is sit and wait
to get connected to the source
but I can't find the switch.
24/1/10
but what to write?
Would it be any better if I tried at night?
A story, a poem, some meaningful lyrics
I wish I could find these words
hidden in my soul
Instead I'm left with a gaping hole
A great blank space waiting to be filled
It's like the muses lips are sealed
They're holding the key
But I can't seem to grasp it
It's out of my reach
All I can do is sit and wait
to get connected to the source
but I can't find the switch.
24/1/10
Goodbye Sainsburys
a little farewell poem I wrote when you finished my previous job
Goodbye Mr Sainsburys
It's time for me to go
No longer will you make me feel low
No messing with my hours
The only thing I'll miss is the flowers
No more hunting for equipment
Broken printers
and that oh so dreaded "washing machine"
No more Mr Mean
I'll stay in touch with those who mean the most
Goodbye Mr Sainsburys
Time for a new chapter
goodbye and good riddance!
2/11/09
Goodbye Mr Sainsburys
It's time for me to go
No longer will you make me feel low
No messing with my hours
The only thing I'll miss is the flowers
No more hunting for equipment
Broken printers
and that oh so dreaded "washing machine"
No more Mr Mean
I'll stay in touch with those who mean the most
Goodbye Mr Sainsburys
Time for a new chapter
goodbye and good riddance!
2/11/09
Sunday, 11 July 2010
Untitled
Why can't I find any words to express
the thoughts in my head, such a mess
of images and words and emptiness
back to back, front to front
sometimes backwards, sometimes forwards
some I'm not even sure where they're going
can't be certain of their destination
but it's such a fascination
each thought, every random idea
everything's going somewhere
but there's always time for nowhere
13/01/07
the thoughts in my head, such a mess
of images and words and emptiness
back to back, front to front
sometimes backwards, sometimes forwards
some I'm not even sure where they're going
can't be certain of their destination
but it's such a fascination
each thought, every random idea
everything's going somewhere
but there's always time for nowhere
13/01/07
Labels
My Chemical Romance and black mascara running down your cheeks?
Ah you must be an Emo!
Grateful Dead and not washed for weeks?
Ah you must be a Hippie!
Cap on backwards and trendy trainers?
Ah you must be one of those Chavs
got an ASBO, it's a no brainer
Dressed in black with pale white skin?
Ah you must be a Goth!
always thinking about death and original sin
Got a mohawk?
Ah that's easy you're a Punk!
Iron Maiden across your shirt?
Blatantly a metalhead, that's what I say
So many labels for so many people
Yet the thing is, we're one in the same
Everyone of us is part of life's game
We may be different
but we share the same Earth
We all smile, we all cry,
We all learn, we all try,
Let's forget the stupid labels
and just remember we're human after all.
23/4/08
Ah you must be an Emo!
Grateful Dead and not washed for weeks?
Ah you must be a Hippie!
Cap on backwards and trendy trainers?
Ah you must be one of those Chavs
got an ASBO, it's a no brainer
Dressed in black with pale white skin?
Ah you must be a Goth!
always thinking about death and original sin
Got a mohawk?
Ah that's easy you're a Punk!
Iron Maiden across your shirt?
Blatantly a metalhead, that's what I say
So many labels for so many people
Yet the thing is, we're one in the same
Everyone of us is part of life's game
We may be different
but we share the same Earth
We all smile, we all cry,
We all learn, we all try,
Let's forget the stupid labels
and just remember we're human after all.
23/4/08
Do You Honestly Mind?
Do you honestly mind?
If I go ahead and lose my mind?
Do you honestly mind?
If I lose my cool and forget to be kind?
Do you honestly mind?
If I don't like what I find?
Do you honestly mind?
If I pretend to be happy when really I'm not?
Do you honestly mind?
If I pretend not to know what I've got, when really it's a lot?
Do you honestly mind?
That I'm not all that simple and you can't read me like a book?
I'm suprised you give me a second look
let's face it, I can't even cook!
Do you honestly mind?
Because with you, I want to be.
28/4/08
If I go ahead and lose my mind?
Do you honestly mind?
If I lose my cool and forget to be kind?
Do you honestly mind?
If I don't like what I find?
Do you honestly mind?
If I pretend to be happy when really I'm not?
Do you honestly mind?
If I pretend not to know what I've got, when really it's a lot?
Do you honestly mind?
That I'm not all that simple and you can't read me like a book?
I'm suprised you give me a second look
let's face it, I can't even cook!
Do you honestly mind?
Because with you, I want to be.
28/4/08
I'm So Rock N Roll (Baby)
I've thrown up all over my prized guitar
I've trashed all the poshest hotels
I've played this song to a packed out stadium
I'm so rock n' roll
I'm so rock n' roll baby
I'm so rock n' roll baby
oh so rock n' roll!
I've had my picture in the paper, so many times
They always get my best side
when I'm lying in the gutter
I'm so rock n' roll
I'm so rock n' roll baby
I'm so rock n' roll baby
oh so rock n' roll!
6/11/08
I've taken crack cocaine and heroin
I've not turned up to my sold out gigs
But everyone still thinks I'm a star
I'm so rock n' roll
I'm so rock n' roll baby
I'm so rock n' roll baby
oh so rock n' roll!
It doesn't matter what I do
I'm famous and it won't change
while you still buy my records
I'm so rock n' roll
I've trashed all the poshest hotels
I've played this song to a packed out stadium
I'm so rock n' roll
I'm so rock n' roll baby
I'm so rock n' roll baby
oh so rock n' roll!
I've had my picture in the paper, so many times
They always get my best side
when I'm lying in the gutter
I'm so rock n' roll
I'm so rock n' roll baby
I'm so rock n' roll baby
oh so rock n' roll!
6/11/08
I've taken crack cocaine and heroin
I've not turned up to my sold out gigs
But everyone still thinks I'm a star
I'm so rock n' roll
I'm so rock n' roll baby
I'm so rock n' roll baby
oh so rock n' roll!
It doesn't matter what I do
I'm famous and it won't change
while you still buy my records
I'm so rock n' roll
Fame
Once upon a time I was famous for five minutes
It was great and everybody loved me
I had my picture in the paper
And my voice on the radio
And I thought to myself
“If this is what fame smells like then give me some more”
Stalkers, Talkers, Gossip, Rumours
I found out the hard way
And I’m sorry to say
That fame isn’t what it’s cracked up to be
Wake up at 8, stay up real late
No dates, no real mates
I found out the hard way
And I’m sorry to say
Fame is just a perfume
14/04/05
It was great and everybody loved me
I had my picture in the paper
And my voice on the radio
And I thought to myself
“If this is what fame smells like then give me some more”
Stalkers, Talkers, Gossip, Rumours
I found out the hard way
And I’m sorry to say
That fame isn’t what it’s cracked up to be
Wake up at 8, stay up real late
No dates, no real mates
I found out the hard way
And I’m sorry to say
Fame is just a perfume
14/04/05
Emotional Bruises
I Lie in the bath and look at the rapidly multiplying bruises on my legs. It's a mystery how they got there physically. But I can't help believing their the work of you. You have this habit of emotionally bruising me every chance you get. With each painful word, each shouting match, another bruise appears, making my soul weaker and weaker. The more you push, the more I pull away. You think you're helping to fix my damaged soul, but it's you who caused the damage.
23/04/05
23/04/05
Help
I don't know what you want from me
But isn't it plain to see
Whatever I'm doing
You just can't let it be
I'm sorry that I went out with my friends
I'm sorry I wanted some space
I'm sorry I stayed in with you
What is it you want from me?
A padlock on the door
Or for me to go out more?
What is it you want from me?
I'm sorry that I cut my hair
I'm sorry that I ate my share
I'm sorry I can't ignore
Your hypocritical ways
I know what I want from you
Isn't it plain to see
Whatever you're doing
I want you away from me
7/4/05
But isn't it plain to see
Whatever I'm doing
You just can't let it be
I'm sorry that I went out with my friends
I'm sorry I wanted some space
I'm sorry I stayed in with you
What is it you want from me?
A padlock on the door
Or for me to go out more?
What is it you want from me?
I'm sorry that I cut my hair
I'm sorry that I ate my share
I'm sorry I can't ignore
Your hypocritical ways
I know what I want from you
Isn't it plain to see
Whatever you're doing
I want you away from me
7/4/05
Black
I dip my paintbrush into the depths of the tin. The darkness drips onto the floor and onto my bare feet so I look like I've been walking in oil. A feeling of satisfaction comes over me as I delete the light out of the room with blackness.
7/4/05
7/4/05
The Beauty
Sometimes the beauty in the world astounds me
Sometimes I just can't believe what I can see
What's that shining light in the corner?
Where's that fragrant smell coming from?
Sometimes I just admire the trees
Sometimes I watch the bees
What's that riding on its back?
Why is there a sparkle in the leaves?
Sometimes I want to touch the flowers
Sometimes in nature I want to spend my hours
I just can't believe what I can see
Faeries and Nature Spirits running free
What an amazing sight
Am I really seeing this in broad daylight?
The Earth is already so beautiful
and now its beauty has intensified
Sometimes the beauty in the world simply astounds me
26/03/05
Sometimes I just can't believe what I can see
What's that shining light in the corner?
Where's that fragrant smell coming from?
Sometimes I just admire the trees
Sometimes I watch the bees
What's that riding on its back?
Why is there a sparkle in the leaves?
Sometimes I want to touch the flowers
Sometimes in nature I want to spend my hours
I just can't believe what I can see
Faeries and Nature Spirits running free
What an amazing sight
Am I really seeing this in broad daylight?
The Earth is already so beautiful
and now its beauty has intensified
Sometimes the beauty in the world simply astounds me
26/03/05
Feelings
Mixed up feelings
Which way do I turn?
Will I ever learn?
So confused
You stir my soul
Yet you make me whole
You make me cry
But you wipe my tears dry
You make me smile
But you make me frown
I wish I could get in your head
So I'd understand what you said
A minute to contemplate
How you see your fate
You can scare me
Yet you thrill me
You anger me
You excite me
It must be love.
31/03/05
Which way do I turn?
Will I ever learn?
So confused
You stir my soul
Yet you make me whole
You make me cry
But you wipe my tears dry
You make me smile
But you make me frown
I wish I could get in your head
So I'd understand what you said
A minute to contemplate
How you see your fate
You can scare me
Yet you thrill me
You anger me
You excite me
It must be love.
31/03/05
Ode to Coffee
Oh Coffee
My Caffeine Fuelled Saviour!
Wake me up from my dreamless sleep
Oh Coffee
Get me moving from this slumber so deep
Latte, Cappucino or just plain black
you know how to get me out of the sack
Oh Coffee
The Blessed Beverage of my mug!
Oh Coffee
how would I survive without you to start my day??
5/4/05
My Caffeine Fuelled Saviour!
Wake me up from my dreamless sleep
Oh Coffee
Get me moving from this slumber so deep
Latte, Cappucino or just plain black
you know how to get me out of the sack
Oh Coffee
The Blessed Beverage of my mug!
Oh Coffee
how would I survive without you to start my day??
5/4/05
Groundless
You strive for perfection
But just look at your reflection
can't you see you're wearing yourself down?
You're causing yourself to drown
It's your obession
It's time to make a confession
Superwoman you are not
if you don't stop
you might just rot
15/03/05
But just look at your reflection
can't you see you're wearing yourself down?
You're causing yourself to drown
It's your obession
It's time to make a confession
Superwoman you are not
if you don't stop
you might just rot
15/03/05
Love Me Like you Used to
Despite my trying
I feel like crying
I'm not quite sure
if I've found the cure
It isn't enough just what you see
What can I do
to make you believe in me?
I don't know what actions to take
I'm not sure if your smile is real or fake
I'm begging you
Love me like you used to
because I really don't know what to do
18/3/05
I feel like crying
I'm not quite sure
if I've found the cure
It isn't enough just what you see
What can I do
to make you believe in me?
I don't know what actions to take
I'm not sure if your smile is real or fake
I'm begging you
Love me like you used to
because I really don't know what to do
18/3/05
Blood Ties?
Blood ties me to you
Blood ties you to me
Same blood but so much conflict
Same blood but I don’t even know you
Blood is a substance
Blood is a part of everybody
But does it really tie us?
But does it really make us loyal to each other?
We may share blood
We may share a name
But we’re not the same
22/03/05
Blood ties you to me
Same blood but so much conflict
Same blood but I don’t even know you
Blood is a substance
Blood is a part of everybody
But does it really tie us?
But does it really make us loyal to each other?
We may share blood
We may share a name
But we’re not the same
22/03/05
I Will Never be your Prom Queen
I will never be your prom queen
I'll never be the teenage dream
I guess I'm just not like that
I don't really care
If I get a little fat
I couldn't care less
if my hair looks a mess
Who truly cares if I own the latest label?
Or if I put my feet up on the table?
I'm just who I am
I don't care if I make friends with that girl Sam
I'm who I want to be
Not just an image you see.
14/3/05
I'll never be the teenage dream
I guess I'm just not like that
I don't really care
If I get a little fat
I couldn't care less
if my hair looks a mess
Who truly cares if I own the latest label?
Or if I put my feet up on the table?
I'm just who I am
I don't care if I make friends with that girl Sam
I'm who I want to be
Not just an image you see.
14/3/05
Writers Block
No inspiration
Nothing to wow the nation
A lack of words
Just a blank blank canvas
No ideas
Too many fears
Unusable ink
Just a pen with no use
No feelings
Love and sadness have been overused
A lack of earthshattering news
Just another writer’s block.
31/01/01
Nothing to wow the nation
A lack of words
Just a blank blank canvas
No ideas
Too many fears
Unusable ink
Just a pen with no use
No feelings
Love and sadness have been overused
A lack of earthshattering news
Just another writer’s block.
31/01/01
Waste of Space
I got suspicious when you called me someone else’s name
Got the feeling you were playing a game
I checked the answerphone
Turns out to be some girl called Mary
I thought I was the only one
But it turns out I’m not alone
I’m kicking you out
Instead of yearning
I started learning
Now all your things are burning
There’s the door
You obviously think I’m a bore
And that love is just a chore
Go! I don’t need you anymore
You’re just a waste of space
You haven’t got anything to say?
Am I getting in your way?
I’m gonna make you pay!
I’m not letting you choose
It’s me you’re gonna lose
Hope you’re happy together
I will be hating you forever
Don’t expect my blessing
Instead of yearning
I started learning
Now all your things are burning
There’s the door
You’re the bore
You think loves just a chore
Go I don’t give a toss about you anymore
You’re just a
Waste of space!
18/02/05
Got the feeling you were playing a game
I checked the answerphone
Turns out to be some girl called Mary
I thought I was the only one
But it turns out I’m not alone
I’m kicking you out
Instead of yearning
I started learning
Now all your things are burning
There’s the door
You obviously think I’m a bore
And that love is just a chore
Go! I don’t need you anymore
You’re just a waste of space
You haven’t got anything to say?
Am I getting in your way?
I’m gonna make you pay!
I’m not letting you choose
It’s me you’re gonna lose
Hope you’re happy together
I will be hating you forever
Don’t expect my blessing
Instead of yearning
I started learning
Now all your things are burning
There’s the door
You’re the bore
You think loves just a chore
Go I don’t give a toss about you anymore
You’re just a
Waste of space!
18/02/05
I'm Sorry
You mean everything to me
Everything you say and do is just right
All I ever wanted was to be close to you
I never meant to cause you so much grief
As soon as we got closer
I had to go and spoil it all
I just wanted you to be mine
But I was being selfish all the time
How was I to know?
I was pushing you further and further
Until you no longer wanted to be with me
I realised much too late
Or was it down to fate?
All I want to say is
“I’m Sorry”
written 22/01/00
Everything you say and do is just right
All I ever wanted was to be close to you
I never meant to cause you so much grief
As soon as we got closer
I had to go and spoil it all
I just wanted you to be mine
But I was being selfish all the time
How was I to know?
I was pushing you further and further
Until you no longer wanted to be with me
I realised much too late
Or was it down to fate?
All I want to say is
“I’m Sorry”
written 22/01/00
This is dedicated to those I love
I sit down in the corner of the cafe with my hot chocolate; I have to be very careful, as the mug is so big if I fall slightly it will spill everywhere. Once sat down, I sip at the hot chocolate and try to resist the urge to pinch a cigarette off the table next to mine. Just as my thoughts begin to wander, a stranger sits next to me. It's a woman with long grey hair and of a large build, she has green eyes that seem to pierce me completely. I can't figure out why she has sat with me as there are plenty of spare seats everywhere but I don't argue, what would be the point? "Hello" she says to me. "Hi" I say in my usual mouse like squeak when I don't know someone. She reaches out for my hand and I can feel my skin turning red as I blush. She looks into my eyes and speaks- "you are a special person. Don't worry what anyone else says. You are unique and I love you." With that, she walked away.
A few days later, I walked past that cafe again and there she was, sitting next to a young boy who looked very much the type to get bullied. I could hear her voice again. "You are unique and I love you" and I smiled
13/02/05
A few days later, I walked past that cafe again and there she was, sitting next to a young boy who looked very much the type to get bullied. I could hear her voice again. "You are unique and I love you" and I smiled
13/02/05
I'm going to be creative
today I am going to be creative
today I'm going to paint a picture of a million stars
todat I'm going to be creative
today I'm going to write a thousand words
today I'm going to be creative
today I'm going to compose a love song
today I'm going to be creative
today I'm going to sculpt the moon
today I'm going to be creative
and be inspired by the world as it floats by
15/02/05
today I'm going to paint a picture of a million stars
todat I'm going to be creative
today I'm going to write a thousand words
today I'm going to be creative
today I'm going to compose a love song
today I'm going to be creative
today I'm going to sculpt the moon
today I'm going to be creative
and be inspired by the world as it floats by
15/02/05
The Room
The room where we shared our first kiss
The room where we talked for hours and hours
The room where you gave me a reading
The room where you told me you loved me
The room where you read me your poems
The room you first held my hand
The room where I saw your true colours
The room where I lost myself in you
The room I wanted to share with you
The room where you touched my heart
The room you smiled at me so deeply
The room that I fell in love with you
31/01/05
The room where we talked for hours and hours
The room where you gave me a reading
The room where you told me you loved me
The room where you read me your poems
The room you first held my hand
The room where I saw your true colours
The room where I lost myself in you
The room I wanted to share with you
The room where you touched my heart
The room you smiled at me so deeply
The room that I fell in love with you
31/01/05
Crossroads
I've been walking for about five hours now, my legs ache with the strain, my mouth is dry with thrist. The road is rocky with trees lined up along the both sides of it, it is a very warm day so I am only wearing a blue t shirt and a short black skirt, the sweat is dripping from my forehead. In my arms I hold my life in a suitcase, it is time for me to move on away from my comfort zone, now I must decide. The journey has been tough but its one that must be made. I come to a crossroads, one road continues to be rocky and tough going, the other is much softer and will only take a few minutes to reach the end, whilst the other will take years. The simple path will be the easy one, staying in my current job and home, not moving forward. The end of the harder road lies my dream job of being a freelance writer, and having a bigger home. i must make a decision now, do I take the easy way and stay stuck in a dead end job or after many hours of walking do I put myself at risk of even more exhaustion and walk down the rocky road? If I'm to reach my dreams, i must not be afraid to take risks and to work hard to reach them. So with a deep breath, I take that step forward today.
7/2/05
7/2/05
I'm a Fool (for you)
I never knew I would make such a mistake
blurring the lines between friendship and love
why did I have to put everything at risk?
why couldn't I keep the thoughts just in my head?
I realise now what a fool I was
in the light of soberiety I know I should have thought twice
before I looked at you in a different light
I'm truly blessed
I feel as if a rainbow is appearing
and I'm making it to the other side
thank you my friend for bringing us closer
thank you my love for being the most caring person I've ever known
I don't think I deserve this.
But thank to you both.
9/2/05
blurring the lines between friendship and love
why did I have to put everything at risk?
why couldn't I keep the thoughts just in my head?
I realise now what a fool I was
in the light of soberiety I know I should have thought twice
before I looked at you in a different light
I'm truly blessed
I feel as if a rainbow is appearing
and I'm making it to the other side
thank you my friend for bringing us closer
thank you my love for being the most caring person I've ever known
I don't think I deserve this.
But thank to you both.
9/2/05
Love and Hate
What I love about my fiance is his smile
What I hate about life is its shortness
what i love about strawberries is their sweetness
what i hate about men is their tales
what i love about women is their independence
what i hate about computers is they're always crashing
what i love about friends is their company
what i hate about cars is their fumes
what i love about water is its beauty
what i hate about zoos is the cages
what i love about music is its sound
what i hate about time is that theres never enough
what i love about words, is there is so many of them
what i hate about customers is their rudeness
what i love about you is your shining eyes
what i hate about me is my attitude
what i love about them is their charm
what i hate about war is its destruction
what i love about peace is its freedom
28/01/05
What I hate about life is its shortness
what i love about strawberries is their sweetness
what i hate about men is their tales
what i love about women is their independence
what i hate about computers is they're always crashing
what i love about friends is their company
what i hate about cars is their fumes
what i love about water is its beauty
what i hate about zoos is the cages
what i love about music is its sound
what i hate about time is that theres never enough
what i love about words, is there is so many of them
what i hate about customers is their rudeness
what i love about you is your shining eyes
what i hate about me is my attitude
what i love about them is their charm
what i hate about war is its destruction
what i love about peace is its freedom
28/01/05
Pink Bicycle
Today i am a pink bicycle, shiny and new like a brand new toy. fun o what fun! playing in the sand on the pink bicycle. riding through the streets of london, I'll show you the sights that respond to the weather of a nation. have you got a pink bicycle? I really think you should buy one, as no one has bought me yet. Im all alone in this shop no one wants me, pink is too girly, they all say. but im oh so pretty! please buy me, i just want a home where I will be ridden and shown the sights of london. dancing in the streets i hear, what laughter i hear, why do they always laugh at me? I just want to be bought so i can see the world outside this caged prison, oh please set me free to see the sights of london, im oh so lonely in this booth of destruction. save me, buy me, ride me, love me. for i am a pink bicycle without a purpose, please give me the will to go on. i didnt choose to be pink, i chose to be yellow.
29/01/05
29/01/05
Lavender
Happiness, blue, lavender. Happiness lies in the essence of lavender. That smell so swwet, like a rainbow in the sky. hearts interwined, symbolising the love that binds them forever. hoping to be a star some day not just the ordinary girl i've become. wishful thinking, hurtful dreaming. snowdrops falling, crystals shining. blue skies ahead, the sun shines so bright in my heart, dreaming of a life in the future. there lies my love and my happiness. gorgeous lavender, the smell which causes such deep relaxation. smells so sweet. what I'd give to smell lavender forever until eternity. lavender fields outside my cottage in the country, so soft to walk through that delicate smell flowing all the while. beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. what a phrase that is yet so true. everything is beautiful in its own special way. even the worse things in life can be beautiful especially if scented with lavender. lavender is the illusion of happiness.
25/01/05
25/01/05
Untitled
'm just a girl who doesn't know where to go or even where she's been
Help me find the path I'm meant to follow
Is this life?
Is this how it's supposed to be?
Isn't there more I'm meant to be?
Help me find who I am
There's a million faces I could be
But I don't know which one's me
A soldier, a mother, a lover
A dollar a day for something I'm not
What's inside isn't always what's on the outside
You can look in but you may not like what you see
I don't know if it's me
or what way you're meant to see
Put yourself on a plate and see if I devour you
or will I push you aside and sacrifice to you instead
put myself on the line
bring you flowers
hope you understand I just want to feel your sorrow, joy and hope
I want to be inside your soul
hoping you will help me understand my own
If I can't find me, maybe someone else can
and I think it's you, my desire
only you can ignite this missing fire
bring on your hate and bring on your love
see if I can handle you
maybe then we can decide
if it's time for fight or flight.
Jan 10
Help me find the path I'm meant to follow
Is this life?
Is this how it's supposed to be?
Isn't there more I'm meant to be?
Help me find who I am
There's a million faces I could be
But I don't know which one's me
A soldier, a mother, a lover
A dollar a day for something I'm not
What's inside isn't always what's on the outside
You can look in but you may not like what you see
I don't know if it's me
or what way you're meant to see
Put yourself on a plate and see if I devour you
or will I push you aside and sacrifice to you instead
put myself on the line
bring you flowers
hope you understand I just want to feel your sorrow, joy and hope
I want to be inside your soul
hoping you will help me understand my own
If I can't find me, maybe someone else can
and I think it's you, my desire
only you can ignite this missing fire
bring on your hate and bring on your love
see if I can handle you
maybe then we can decide
if it's time for fight or flight.
Jan 10
Sedation
Sedate me
So I will feel nothing
So I no longer have to feel
a rainbow of emotions
I won't cry another tear
I won't scream in anger
I won't even raise a tinge of a smile
I want to be numb
without feeling
Take away my pain
Take away my jealously
take away my strife
I'll watch it all pour slowly down the sink
as you stick the needle deeper
and when you're done
I'll be filled with emptiness
but at least I will be free
this prison called emotions.
April 10
So I will feel nothing
So I no longer have to feel
a rainbow of emotions
I won't cry another tear
I won't scream in anger
I won't even raise a tinge of a smile
I want to be numb
without feeling
Take away my pain
Take away my jealously
take away my strife
I'll watch it all pour slowly down the sink
as you stick the needle deeper
and when you're done
I'll be filled with emptiness
but at least I will be free
this prison called emotions.
April 10
Temporary
Do you remember last summer?
All the good times we had?
We spent so much time together
I thought it would last forever
Now I'm lucky to see you once in a while
I'm at the bottom of your pile
somehow it doesn't seem the same
feels like we're playing a game
I thought I had found a soul mate
It seemed so much like fate
Now it seems you've moved on
leaving me behind
Time and Time again
You're missed me out
You've forgotten me
Why didn't I see
that time of joy wasn't meant to be
it was all only temporary
Now I guess
I'll have to move on
Until the next person
has also had their fill of me
That seems to be the way it alway goes
I will be forever searching
for the one who will stay
and want me permanently
and not lock the door behind me.
April 10
All the good times we had?
We spent so much time together
I thought it would last forever
Now I'm lucky to see you once in a while
I'm at the bottom of your pile
somehow it doesn't seem the same
feels like we're playing a game
I thought I had found a soul mate
It seemed so much like fate
Now it seems you've moved on
leaving me behind
Time and Time again
You're missed me out
You've forgotten me
Why didn't I see
that time of joy wasn't meant to be
it was all only temporary
Now I guess
I'll have to move on
Until the next person
has also had their fill of me
That seems to be the way it alway goes
I will be forever searching
for the one who will stay
and want me permanently
and not lock the door behind me.
April 10
Outside
I feel like an outside in a world I created
I feel like I'm no longer part of the team
Just a subsitute on the bench
until your new top player lets you down
once I was your top player
Now I've been regulated
feel like I've been regurgiated
swallowed whole
only to be spat back out
tossed out in the trash
like yesterday's newspaper
I tried to be there for you
but apparently it wasn't enough
I guess it's just tough
I'll have to just supress what's inside
keep it silent and hide
smile like I didn't notice
you only speak to me to be nice
whereas it was once for joy
now I'm nothing more than a toy.
May 10
I feel like I'm no longer part of the team
Just a subsitute on the bench
until your new top player lets you down
once I was your top player
Now I've been regulated
feel like I've been regurgiated
swallowed whole
only to be spat back out
tossed out in the trash
like yesterday's newspaper
I tried to be there for you
but apparently it wasn't enough
I guess it's just tough
I'll have to just supress what's inside
keep it silent and hide
smile like I didn't notice
you only speak to me to be nice
whereas it was once for joy
now I'm nothing more than a toy.
May 10
Foxes
What must it feel like to be a fox?
To be chased around the block
wanted dead
labelled menace
criticised for animal instinct
can't help being a fox
why must they be afraid
of what laws may be overturned today?
Why do people look the other way
ignore the cruelty
behind the lies
overpopulation, vermin they say
It's all sorted out with a cull
but wouldn't it be dull
without the occasional glimpse of a fox to brighten your day?
Nobody culls the humans
who are we to play God?
Let's let nature be
and treasure each creature
we share this earth with
and learn to live in peace.
July 10
To be chased around the block
wanted dead
labelled menace
criticised for animal instinct
can't help being a fox
why must they be afraid
of what laws may be overturned today?
Why do people look the other way
ignore the cruelty
behind the lies
overpopulation, vermin they say
It's all sorted out with a cull
but wouldn't it be dull
without the occasional glimpse of a fox to brighten your day?
Nobody culls the humans
who are we to play God?
Let's let nature be
and treasure each creature
we share this earth with
and learn to live in peace.
July 10
Best Friends
Today I walked past my old school,
and it filled my mind with bittersweet memories
and of all the friendships I've had over the years
all the smiles and the tears
that naming someone "best friend" can bring.
At first I was a loner,
Nobody wanted to be my friend
I walked alone in my imaginary world
Then you came along
The teachers were so pleased
they made sure we were in classes together
we would pretend to be goddesses
we sure weren't typical kids
we would cut flowers and hope to make perfume
it never really worked.
I had to change schools
and it all changed
now someone new had taken your place
this one wasn't too streetwise
I taught her about music
I think despite my innocence
I was the rebel in her life
Her parents didn't like me.
Another year passed, a brand new school
this time I was no longer a little girl
but a teenager preparing to meet the world
things changed again
someone actually chose to be my friend
what fun we had
you always chasing the boys
walking up his road
writing letters
It was so silly
but we were only young
our friendship changed constantly
remember make up break up?
Forward my life went,
I was at college,
I had a boyfriend,
time yet again to fill that vacancy "best friend"
someone I had known for years
someone outside of school
you were there everytime I was in tears
we would go out every friday
drink vodka and dance to greenday
I didn't mind when you said you were gay
you were the first not to walk away
and I hope you always stay
do you remember Paddy on the ceiling??
As an adult,
the best friend tag has more meaning
there's no longer make up break up
or playing silly games
I feel privileged to have a few
I'll support your art
admire your caring nature
be pleased for you when you're doing the job you've always wanted
I'll hug you when you cry
smile when you try
I hope you know who you are
life without friendship means nothing
despite it all, I love you all
July 10
and it filled my mind with bittersweet memories
and of all the friendships I've had over the years
all the smiles and the tears
that naming someone "best friend" can bring.
At first I was a loner,
Nobody wanted to be my friend
I walked alone in my imaginary world
Then you came along
The teachers were so pleased
they made sure we were in classes together
we would pretend to be goddesses
we sure weren't typical kids
we would cut flowers and hope to make perfume
it never really worked.
I had to change schools
and it all changed
now someone new had taken your place
this one wasn't too streetwise
I taught her about music
I think despite my innocence
I was the rebel in her life
Her parents didn't like me.
Another year passed, a brand new school
this time I was no longer a little girl
but a teenager preparing to meet the world
things changed again
someone actually chose to be my friend
what fun we had
you always chasing the boys
walking up his road
writing letters
It was so silly
but we were only young
our friendship changed constantly
remember make up break up?
Forward my life went,
I was at college,
I had a boyfriend,
time yet again to fill that vacancy "best friend"
someone I had known for years
someone outside of school
you were there everytime I was in tears
we would go out every friday
drink vodka and dance to greenday
I didn't mind when you said you were gay
you were the first not to walk away
and I hope you always stay
do you remember Paddy on the ceiling??
As an adult,
the best friend tag has more meaning
there's no longer make up break up
or playing silly games
I feel privileged to have a few
I'll support your art
admire your caring nature
be pleased for you when you're doing the job you've always wanted
I'll hug you when you cry
smile when you try
I hope you know who you are
life without friendship means nothing
despite it all, I love you all
July 10
Stars
If the stars didn't exist
what would we wish upon?
would wishes ever come true?
would a wish even exist?
If you took away the moon
would there still be night?
would the tides still roll across the shore?
If the sun was to disappear
would there still be such a thing as light?
If the clouds were to float away forever
would anyone believe in heaven?
if there was no Earth
would we still be alive?
what if there were no dreams
would this world rip at the seams?
What if this is all a fantasy
and we are all but a thought in someone's head?
Does that make us dead?
The universe is filled with things
songs to sing
beauty and pain
sunshine and rain
what if it all went away?
what would we wish upon?
would wishes ever come true?
would a wish even exist?
If you took away the moon
would there still be night?
would the tides still roll across the shore?
If the sun was to disappear
would there still be such a thing as light?
If the clouds were to float away forever
would anyone believe in heaven?
if there was no Earth
would we still be alive?
what if there were no dreams
would this world rip at the seams?
What if this is all a fantasy
and we are all but a thought in someone's head?
Does that make us dead?
The universe is filled with things
songs to sing
beauty and pain
sunshine and rain
what if it all went away?
July 10
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