Writing Prompt: Write a letter to your 10 year old self

Dear Hayley,
This is your 28 year old self writing to you from the future- how cool is that?

Anyway, I'm writing to you to tell you that you won't always feel like you do now. Things will change. A lot. You won't always feel alone. You will probably always feel like a bit of a weirdo, perhaps even more so as you get older, but instead of feeling like this is a bad thing, you will learn to love your individuality and celebrate it and be proud of who you are, not try to hide it. One thing definitely won't change- you will always love writing!

You will make friends with some amazing people over the years, some won't be in your life for long, but every one of them will have a huge impact on your life and help you to discover more about yourself and who you want to become. In just a few years, you are going to meet someone really special who will be your best friend for a very long time, who will always be there for you in good times and bad, even when she lives a great distance away from you. All I will say about when you meet her is one word- panda! Believe me, that will make sense one day!

You will also fall in love, not once, but twice! The first time will be quite tough but it will help you to learn some important life lessons and to become an adult. The second time though, it will be more deep, and for keeps! You'll even get married and have the most beautiful wedding you can ever imagine, even better than you could possibly dream of, but I won't say too much about it, just know it will be one of the most perfect days of your life with everyone you want around you there.

You will become a wonderful, passionate person with strong beliefs and so many interests, you won't be too familiar with boredom! You will grow up to be an interesting and loving person, so even though it might not feel like it now, remember that you are special and things WILL get better, just wait and see!

I love you,
28 year old not so grown up Hayley
xxx

Moving towards 2013

another year, another end of year/beginning of next year blog!

Well I still didn't finish editing my novel I wrote in 2010, so that will be continued in 2013! I carried on writing a few pieces for websites, I did my first 'in person' interview this year with my favourite band Robots in Disguise! I also wrote a few book reviews. I wrote a few poems but not that many. I couldn't do NaNoWriMo this year due to moving house.

so in 2013, my writing goals are:
To finish that Novel at last!
To do more creative writing like poetry and stories
To write up any old writing I've got and finish anything I started but didn't finish
To write another zine as I didn't manage to write any this year.
To be a recognised name when it comes to writing.
To continue doing writing prompts once a week and to post the results.

A Rather Inspired weekend

3 poems written this weekend!

on friday...(19/10/12)
a small wish

I need the words back
the words I used to know
please bring them back to me
so holy and free
please help me to see
what's right in front of me
it's there all along
just learn the words to the song
beautiful words
where have you been
it's been so long
there's still more
it's hidden at the core
your base core
needs to identify
needs to verify
pen to paper
let it flow
let it go, let it out
you know it's in there
just set it free


on saturday 20/10/12
Goddess

Breathe in, Breathe out
Goddess in, Goddess out
within and without
round and about
the Goddess breathes as we do
In and out
inside out, upside down
it doesn't matter which way we look
you won't find her presence in a book
she's in you, she's around you
searching your soul
making you whole.

Breathe in, Breathe out
Goddess in, Goddess out
Let's not forget our connection
as we search for the answers
to our soul seeking questions
she is I, and she is you
she is the sky, she is the sea
she is the spirit inside of me

come, won't you see
this mystical union is free
Goddess in, Goddess out,
I have no doubt.


Sunday (21/10/12)- Inspiration
Standing at the pearly gates
but this isn't Heaven
this is the blank, blank sheet
staring at me, teasing me
waiting for me to fill it
with juicy words
perhaps even men with swords
fairies, angels, vampires or even just ordinary people
waiting for me to direct their narrative

But I'm struggling to open the gate
and the page remains white
no words seem quite right
the lines blur
as thoughts start to occur
letters begin to form
and a new life is born.

The gate has been unlocked
and all I had to do is knock
the words have returned
like a long lost friend
what was once broken, is now on the mend
welcome back
I promise this time, I won't give you the sack.

Dancing Barefoot Issue Three is now out!

I wrote issue 3 of my perzine Dancing Barefoot back in October but due to 'technical issues' have only just been able to release it.
This particular issue is pretty deep and personal, as I write about my pagan path, and my experiences of death and endings.
You can buy or swap a printed copy for £1- email me for details on how to pay moonlight.phoenix@gmail.com or you can get a free PDF version- just email me and let me know if you want this.
You can still get Issues 1 and 2 in the above ways also-
Issue 1 is about friendships and growing up
Issue 2 is about organising a Ladyfest and whether being a loner can be a positive thing!

I am Pagan

At first everyone thought it was just a phase

that I'd soon grow out of it

I was just a teenager

fascinated by the promise of magic and spells

But as time wore on,

I didn't stop reading

every aspect of my life became affected

my choices became clearer

and now I had beliefs I held much dearer

I never even knew I had a faith

but when I discovered paganism

I knew I had been one all along

over the years

things have changed

sometimes I've neglected it, other times I've worked so hard on it,

but still the same

it always remains

the premise for me is so simple

"do what you will but harm none"

respecting the earth

and keeping in mind the power of three times three

all these years later I can't think of anything I'd rather be

my whole life this has been who I am

I am a pagan

and I am proud.

29/1/12

January

Oh January

you and I have a turbulent relationship

you always make promises you can't keep

and I get so overexcited I can barely sleep

making plans in my head

if I did them all I'd probably fall dead

you always let me down

with a frown

you give me hope, you can give me dreams

then you rip them up at the seams

you pull the carpet from beneath my feet

and knock right off my self righteous seat

you make me ill, you give me stress

and I always end up in a mess

yet you know I'll be fooled again

and I'll feel like I'm stuck in the rain

but it takes sunshine AND rain to make a rainbow

so I'll see you through

and wait for the sun to emerge

9/1/12

2012

Well last year I wrote a post about my writing goals for 2011, so may as well do it this year too!

Last year I said I would make a zine, well I wrote and published two, I have another one, I just need to get it printed. I had some success with it, my friends who read it gave positive feedback and I did two swaps with people for Issue Two. My friend Catherine even reviewed it

I started editing my NaNoWrimo from 2010, but thanks to having to reinstall the computer a few times, I lost a lot of my original editing so had to start again, as a result I'm still editing, I hate editing with a passion but I really hope that I can manage to finish it this year. I kind of did a novel in 2011 too, but I'm not sure yet if I want to do anything with the story part of what I did.

I did lots of writing for websites, I started off writing a few bits for Wears the Trousers, but found they edited my work more than I was happy with, and did some things for thegirlsare, who would sometimes edit slightly but not as much and they would normally talk me through the edit, so I would be aware and able to learn. I did some pieces for JoyZine who don't do any editing and don't have a particular style guideline and also some pieces I'm really proud of for my favourite blog The F Word.

so this year- I want to finish editing the 2010 novel
to write more pieces for websites, especially things like the riot grrrl piece I wrote for the f word.
hopefully to get a bit of a name for myself on the music writing/blogging circuit!

Letters

There's nothing like the feeling you get when you heard the daily sound of letters falling through your letterbox. You think it's probably just the usual bills and/or junk mail from credit card companies or charities asking for donations. Instead, as you yawn and drearily trudge your way to the front door, you look down at the pile on the floor and notice the address on the envelope is handwritten. A feeling of curiosity and intrigue replaces the tired and bored one. Instead of going straight to the kettle for the usual morning kick up the arse in caffeine form, you start ripping the envelope open, eager to see what lurks inside. Your heart lifts as you see the handwritten words, dated only yesterday as it's been posted first class. Obviously someone really wanted to write to you. You smile as you finish reading it's from your best friend just to say hello.

I Miss You

Sadness tears up apart
Every day I feel the sorrow grow deeper in my heart
somehow it eclipses all the good times we've had
at first it seemed like just a fad
but then it just got worse and worse
like some sort of curse
this beautiful person who cares, and who dares
came into my life and made everything right
now it seems all you have is strife
and just to see you at all is a fight
I felt like our friendship was true
but lately the more I try, the more I feel blue.

24/10/11

Dancing Barefoot

Hi

Sorry I haven't updated this blog for quite some time, but I haven't had much to post to be honest. I've got some reviews etc in the pipeline so will link them when they're ready- I've also been slowly editing my novel.

I have however started a zine- 'Dancing Barefoot' which is a personal zine and costs £1.75- it's A4 in size and I've published two issues so far. The first talks about growing up and friendship, and the second talks about being a loner and organising a ladyfest.

If you haven't already bought a copy and would like one, just drop me an email to moonlight.phoenix@gmail.com