Writing Prompt: Write a letter to your 10 year old self

Dear Hayley,
This is your 28 year old self writing to you from the future- how cool is that?

Anyway, I'm writing to you to tell you that you won't always feel like you do now. Things will change. A lot. You won't always feel alone. You will probably always feel like a bit of a weirdo, perhaps even more so as you get older, but instead of feeling like this is a bad thing, you will learn to love your individuality and celebrate it and be proud of who you are, not try to hide it. One thing definitely won't change- you will always love writing!

You will make friends with some amazing people over the years, some won't be in your life for long, but every one of them will have a huge impact on your life and help you to discover more about yourself and who you want to become. In just a few years, you are going to meet someone really special who will be your best friend for a very long time, who will always be there for you in good times and bad, even when she lives a great distance away from you. All I will say about when you meet her is one word- panda! Believe me, that will make sense one day!

You will also fall in love, not once, but twice! The first time will be quite tough but it will help you to learn some important life lessons and to become an adult. The second time though, it will be more deep, and for keeps! You'll even get married and have the most beautiful wedding you can ever imagine, even better than you could possibly dream of, but I won't say too much about it, just know it will be one of the most perfect days of your life with everyone you want around you there.

You will become a wonderful, passionate person with strong beliefs and so many interests, you won't be too familiar with boredom! You will grow up to be an interesting and loving person, so even though it might not feel like it now, remember that you are special and things WILL get better, just wait and see!

I love you,
28 year old not so grown up Hayley
xxx

Stop and Stare

We have no time to stand and stare
Life is busy and hectic
No time to stop and care.

Eat, Work, Sleep
24 hours goes past in a blur
Leaving you in a shattered heap
then the cycle starts again
Eat, Work, Sleep.

No time to work on that tan
Money makes the world go round
or so some people say
Forever in that same old circle, bound.

But if we never stop
what do we miss?
Singing and dancing to Blitzkrieg Bop?
The lust and passion of that great kiss?

Break the cycle
Get on that bicycle
Stop and explore
Don't just ignore
Life is beautiful
so take the time to stop and stare.

2/9/12

The River of Acceptance

your warmth is shown behind every smile
every smile leaves an imprint on my heart
and my hearts feels wide open
whenever you are within reach
even out of reach
your soul calls out my name
almost like home
we connect but our individuality remains
you can be yourself and I couldn't have it any other way
you lighten the load but deepen the rivers
the rivers ripple with your every word
thoughts and feelings so consumed
I am lost in this river of you
and this time
I don't want to be found

2006

The Day

my love is forever
as long as we're together
our first kiss
my first memory of bliss
when we're all alone
I get a shiver down my back bone
if you turn out the light
afterwards I'll kiss you all night

you've been there, done that
now you're letting me explore
places I've never been before
you kiss down to the soul
I love you mentally, emotionally, physically

smile baby smile
it's alright
let's make love all night
my brains stopped functioning
my heart is pumping
I can feel your love
surrounding me, wanting me

sometimes I think about what your love is doing to me
I can read your mind
you smile, I smile
looking to our future
but I know that day
is coming our way

20/6/99

Reasons why I love you

I love the way you hold me tight
I love the way we never fight
I love the way you kiss me
I love the way you miss me
I love the way you warm me up when I'm cold
I love the way you make me feel like precious like gold
I love the way you hold my hand
I love the way you understand
I love the way you read my mind
I love the way you smile, so kind
the way you came into my life
the way you take away my strife

17/8/99

Two hearts intertwined

we walk together hand in hand
two hearts intertwined
I know that you always understand
we share the same mind
whenever you feel bad
I can feel it too
even when you're not with me
I see the world the way you see it
I hear words the way you hear them
I feel emotions as you feel them
there's two of us
yet it feels as it we are one
you are half, I am half
two hearts are intertwined

17/11/99

Love is..

Love is....like a video you want to watch over and over
love is....when you don't mind standing in the rain
love is....like a favourite book, all tattered and torn
love is....watching a creature being born
love is.....like your room, where you want to spend your time
love is....what's yours is mine
love is...a carpet, so comfortable and warm
love is...being protected from harm
love is...
us

30/12/99

Why

why am I so stupid?
why can't I let go?
and let myself love you
I know I do
I even tell you I do
of course I do
but I won't let myself

I cannot prove I love you
because I always get you down
and when I do I end up with a frown

why can't I let you love me?
why do I always need convincing?
why I am always so paranoid?
when you show it all the time

I don't know how to let go of my inhibitions
I don't know how to prove I care
I don't know how to bare my soul
or how to fulfil my goals

I want to help you with your nasty habits
but I feel like I'm letting them breed like rabbits
you're probably smoking right now
I'm surprised you're still with me
I wouldn't blame you if you left
If I tell the truth
I feel I'm hurting you

22/01/00

Temptation

A strong feeling is coming over me
how can I resist you?
I've got to kiss you
Temptation
you know you've got me for sure
temptation
you taste so sweet
you've swept me off my feet
temptation
whatever you're doing, wherever you're going
you know I'll come running
you are so delicious
temptation
the way you look at me with those big brown eyes
you're not like all the other guys
temptation
I'll look after you
if you look after me
temptation
you're the best!

2/2/00

Flowers

one petal means you love me
two petals means you love me not
a stem means you care
a flower means you don't care

a rose is a sign of love
but even a daisy is good enough for me
love isn't about huge gestures
it's the little things that really count

a letter of affection
or a bouquet to get my attention?
the letter would be for me
words of love show devotion
but flowers are just pretty to look at

you can look back on the letter forever
but flowers eventually die
we have true love
a thousand letters rather than a thousand flowers
I know we will always be together

11/2/00

A Situation So Unkind

I don't know which way to turn
this whole situation makes me burn
I want to kill myself
end this everlasting torture
only I know that's not the cure
maybe I should run
in the direction of the sun
or should I pull the trigger of my gun?
This act I'm pulling won't last
I can't forget the not so distant past
I just want to run fast
You say you'll wait
I hope it won't be too late
please bring us back together, fate
I can't live without you
and that's a fact
confidence and self esteem is what I lack
I really want you back
Life can be so hard
when you're given the red card
I can't stand this anymore
this has hurt me to the core

3/3/01

Untitled

At last I've found my dream, my love supreme
the theme of my scream, I'm the cat that got the cream
the beam of sunlight through your window
the glimpse of hope in your shadow
the love that watches you from below
I'm that piece of grass you never mow
I am the silence of your night
I am the joy in your sight
I will always be your light

2/2/02

Goodbye

Doors closing shut
cords have been cut
sun is setting
the story is ending
time to say goodbye
let out a big sigh
but no longer do I cry
and your tears I will dry
new doors will open
no need to question when
just know this
I don't regret our every kiss
I'll remember every gentle word
I let you go in peace and love
goodbye as a lover
and hello as a friend


17/8/02

Untitled

A lightbulb has switched on in my head
maybe there's a reason for me to get out of bed
the torch will guide my way
to the one who will make my day
the room suddenly fills with a white light
a force which I can't fight
my heart skips a beat
I've never known such a treat
like chocolate, so sweet
I'm melting
melting into your arms
you've granted my every wish
and lifted my heavy burden
I don't need my torch
your beauty makes everything clear
and heaven so near
you are my love
and I will always be yours

26/2/02

Untitled

After that first kiss
is it really going to stay bliss?
is everything going to stay the same
or will we be playing a different game?
will I stay the same person I thought I was
will you be the same person I fell in love with
everything changes with a touch
I just hope it won't be too much
everything changes with the years
I just hope it won't end in tears

27/12/04

Untitled and For Roxie

Feelings so soft like waves on my soul
breathing, tossing, turning
bringing tranquillity amongst the buzzing of reality
sometimes I just want to switch it off
feel the silence of a thousand dreams
cutting the shreds of life away
and starting anew with the freshness of beginning

4/2/06

For Roxie
I love the way you look at me with your big green eyes
I love the way you'll never tell me lies
I love the way you touch my face
I love the way you run around as if you're in a race
I like the way your feline eyes are full of expression
I like the way you listen to my confessions
I like the way you stretch out and let me rub your belly
I like the way you sit on top of the telly
You're not just a cat
You're not merely a pet
you're my friend and companion
part of the family
and I will always love you!

3/7/05

All written on 12/2/06

Poem 1

Beneath I feel a sordid power as the urge shakes
what was once my dream garden
and sends it crashing down
there these chains of sleep could free me
from the restraints of reality's seatbelt
but now it's gone
and I can feel no more
once again I will wait for you
to raise your beautiful smile on me
and give me wings to fly once more.

poem 2

Whisper your diamond light
I can see it through and through
It doesn't matter what you do
I can see it, so brand new
your aura shines from a mile away
and your smile makes my day.


Poem 3

Let's produce petal love together
so we can make a flower
to live in and create
a dimension of our own
time and space
where everyday wears a different face.

Blessed Be

I wish I could see you
I wish I could hear your voice
My love for you grow stronger every day
you are my ultimate happiness
unconditional love flows through you
yet I can't see your face
yet I can't hear your voice
but my love will never stop.

I can feel your presence all the time
In the trees, even in the daisies on street corners
I hear your magick constantly
In the birds song, in a child's laughter
You are everything and everything is you.

Thank you God and Goddess
For your everyday wonders and mystical miracles
my life would be nothing without you
I love you in every possible way
after all, my friends and family are all a part of you
thank you for being there
blessed be, God and Goddess

Untitled

I'm sinking under the sun
I'm falling through the moon
I'm tripping on the stars
relaxing on a cloud
dreaming of you
and the lucky light I've found

2006

Untitled

Unable to concentrate
I sit and contemplate
the time, the space, the setting
of what I might have been
before another time
before another year
another feeling of going under
try to keep my mind going
but there's no stopping
it just keeps slowing
over and out
slipping to cyperspace
I fall back in your tender arms again.

2006