Writing Prompt: Write a letter to your 10 year old self

Dear Hayley,
This is your 28 year old self writing to you from the future- how cool is that?

Anyway, I'm writing to you to tell you that you won't always feel like you do now. Things will change. A lot. You won't always feel alone. You will probably always feel like a bit of a weirdo, perhaps even more so as you get older, but instead of feeling like this is a bad thing, you will learn to love your individuality and celebrate it and be proud of who you are, not try to hide it. One thing definitely won't change- you will always love writing!

You will make friends with some amazing people over the years, some won't be in your life for long, but every one of them will have a huge impact on your life and help you to discover more about yourself and who you want to become. In just a few years, you are going to meet someone really special who will be your best friend for a very long time, who will always be there for you in good times and bad, even when she lives a great distance away from you. All I will say about when you meet her is one word- panda! Believe me, that will make sense one day!

You will also fall in love, not once, but twice! The first time will be quite tough but it will help you to learn some important life lessons and to become an adult. The second time though, it will be more deep, and for keeps! You'll even get married and have the most beautiful wedding you can ever imagine, even better than you could possibly dream of, but I won't say too much about it, just know it will be one of the most perfect days of your life with everyone you want around you there.

You will become a wonderful, passionate person with strong beliefs and so many interests, you won't be too familiar with boredom! You will grow up to be an interesting and loving person, so even though it might not feel like it now, remember that you are special and things WILL get better, just wait and see!

I love you,
28 year old not so grown up Hayley
xxx

Letters

There's nothing like the feeling you get when you heard the daily sound of letters falling through your letterbox. You think it's probably just the usual bills and/or junk mail from credit card companies or charities asking for donations. Instead, as you yawn and drearily trudge your way to the front door, you look down at the pile on the floor and notice the address on the envelope is handwritten. A feeling of curiosity and intrigue replaces the tired and bored one. Instead of going straight to the kettle for the usual morning kick up the arse in caffeine form, you start ripping the envelope open, eager to see what lurks inside. Your heart lifts as you see the handwritten words, dated only yesterday as it's been posted first class. Obviously someone really wanted to write to you. You smile as you finish reading it's from your best friend just to say hello.

I Miss You

Sadness tears up apart
Every day I feel the sorrow grow deeper in my heart
somehow it eclipses all the good times we've had
at first it seemed like just a fad
but then it just got worse and worse
like some sort of curse
this beautiful person who cares, and who dares
came into my life and made everything right
now it seems all you have is strife
and just to see you at all is a fight
I felt like our friendship was true
but lately the more I try, the more I feel blue.

24/10/11

Boredom

boredom is like a blank empty space
nothing but a meaningless blank
an empty face
total symmetrical
not a line out of place
boredom
what can you do?
when TV doesn't appeal
and your favourite cd holds a permanent seal
look into space
it's full of colour, full of things to do
but what good is that?
when you're bored?
the cure?
friendship

31/3/00

Unexpected

It's funny how you can get someone so wrong
I thought my intuition was so strong
But you're changed my perception completely
I never realised I judged what I saw
Before I even knew what was inside
If you knew what I thought, I'd hide
You're the opposite of what I thought
A wonderful gem of a person
funloving and joyous
you remind me to live life to the fullest
when I'm with you, I don't feel boring
When I'm with you, I remember what fun is
what I like about you most is
you feel like a friend

1.12.03

I'm a Fool (for you)

I never knew I would make such a mistake
blurring the lines between friendship and love
why did I have to put everything at risk?
why couldn't I keep the thoughts just in my head?
I realise now what a fool I was
in the light of soberiety I know I should have thought twice
before I looked at you in a different light

I'm truly blessed
I feel as if a rainbow is appearing
and I'm making it to the other side
thank you my friend for bringing us closer
thank you my love for being the most caring person I've ever known

I don't think I deserve this.
But thank to you both.
9/2/05

Best Friends

Today I walked past my old school,
and it filled my mind with bittersweet memories
and of all the friendships I've had over the years
all the smiles and the tears
that naming someone "best friend" can bring.

At first I was a loner,
Nobody wanted to be my friend
I walked alone in my imaginary world
Then you came along
The teachers were so pleased
they made sure we were in classes together
we would pretend to be goddesses
we sure weren't typical kids
we would cut flowers and hope to make perfume
it never really worked.

I had to change schools
and it all changed
now someone new had taken your place
this one wasn't too streetwise
I taught her about music
I think despite my innocence
I was the rebel in her life
Her parents didn't like me.

Another year passed, a brand new school
this time I was no longer a little girl
but a teenager preparing to meet the world
things changed again
someone actually chose to be my friend
what fun we had
you always chasing the boys
walking up his road
writing letters
It was so silly
but we were only young
our friendship changed constantly
remember make up break up?

Forward my life went,
I was at college,
I had a boyfriend,
time yet again to fill that vacancy "best friend"
someone I had known for years
someone outside of school
you were there everytime I was in tears
we would go out every friday
drink vodka and dance to greenday
I didn't mind when you said you were gay
you were the first not to walk away
and I hope you always stay
do you remember Paddy on the ceiling??

As an adult,
the best friend tag has more meaning
there's no longer make up break up
or playing silly games
I feel privileged to have a few
I'll support your art
admire your caring nature
be pleased for you when you're doing the job you've always wanted
I'll hug you when you cry
smile when you try
I hope you know who you are
life without friendship means nothing
despite it all, I love you all


July 10